


Strangers with Memories

by witheringpeachroses



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, M/M, Memory Loss, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-04
Updated: 2018-11-04
Packaged: 2019-08-17 13:00:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 27,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16516952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/witheringpeachroses/pseuds/witheringpeachroses
Summary: "Do I know you?"Wonwoo doesn't remember him, but he likes his name.





	Strangers with Memories

**Author's Note:**

> cross posted from AFF under the pen name: rjdgopiso  
> watch the [trailer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jJYkrqtaY4&feature=youtu.be) first and leave a like/comment uwu

“Do you know him?”

Wonwoo snaps out of his trance, ripping his eyes away from the dark haired boy that had just entered the coffee shop, and looked back at his best friend.

Jihoon sighs and repeats himself, nodding his head at the person in question. “Do you know him? You can go over and talk to them first.”

It takes a full minute for Wonwoo to shake his head and dismiss him.

“No, I don’t know him.”

 

 

• P A S T •

 

 

“Do I know you?”

Mingyu blinks, cheeks blushing at the realization that not only had he’d been staring, but was caught as well. Clearing his throat, he leans closer to the other’s ear and answers, “No. I don’t think you do because I don’t know you.”

The party was dying down but the music was still loud with people still forcing alcohol down their throats and practically dry humping each other in the living room that had been turned into the dance floor.

The boy that had asked him had raven hair and narrow eyes, his cheeks high and lips deliciously pink. “Oh, then okay. I thought maybe your name had slipped my mind.”

Mingyu smiled, waiting for the punch line of the pick-up but it never came. Instead, the other boy rambles on about how he had noticed him looking, wondering if he knew him, and when he had realized he’d been taking up the stranger’s time, he starts to apologize and leave.

“Wait.” Mingyu finds himself saying and the boy turns around, eyes confused and mouth pursed. “I’m Mingyu.”

The boy hesitates when he holds out a hand, but accepts it either way, giving it a gentle shake. “Wonwoo.”

“Do you go to Uni here? How come I’ve only seen you now?”

“I took a semester off last year and I’m only making up for my missed subjects now.”

Mingyu nods, drinking the room temperature beer from his forgotten red cup. “So, you’re an irregular student.” His eyebrow quirks up a bit as he asks.

Wonwoo snorts, “I guess you can say that. All of my friends already graduated and I feel like a freshman who knows no one, well, except… what’s his name? Ah! Hansol, since he’s cousins, I think, with one of my friends.”

Hansol was the gracious host of the party, he was one of those students in university who didn’t rent dorms provided by the school and had laid back parents who lets him throw these parties in their house when they were away. His cousin was Seungcheol, Wonwoo’s classmate in Gen Ed subjects and ex-boyfriend of his best friend, Jihoon.

If Wonwoo were to be honest, he had no idea why he was even in the party, more so, why this painfully cute boy was talking to him. He had the cutest canines and the cutest mole on his cheek—he looked like a puppy and all Wonwoo wanted to do was cuddle up to him.

“I can introduce you to my friends if you’re feeling lonely.”

“Oh, no. It’s fine. I should get going. It was nice meeting you…” Wonwoo’s voice trails off.

“Why don’t you stay?” Mingyu asks, discarding his now empty red cup to the nearest table and shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “That was hardly meeting me, you know. Why don’t we get to know each other a little more?”

“Are you flirting with me?” He didn’t mean to blurt it out, but his question was genuine. Why was he flirting with someone like him?

The taller boy’s canines appear once more as he chuckles, “If you want to be straightforward, then I’d really like to take you back to my room.”

Suddenly, it was like the room’s temperature had rose and Wonwoo’s body begins to heat up. It didn’t help that the other boy had began to smirk as he grew flustered, but then Wonwoo thinks, what does he have to lose in this?

“Why wait until we get to your room when I’m sure there are vacant ones upstairs?”

There was a hint of guilt in the bottom of Wonwoo’s stomach while Mingyu looked for a vacant room for them. His name had slipped his mind already and now he doesn’t know what he’ll be moaning out later.

The door Mingyu reaches for opens and someone Wonwoo finally knows come out.

“Hansol, hey.” Mingyu greets, clapping the other boy’s shoulder.

“Mingyu-hyung, hey.” He replies, before smirking, “Do you need a room—” He looks over to Wonwoo, who was chanting Mingyu’s name in his head, hoping to retain it at least through the night. “Wonwoo-hyung?”

“Hm?” Wonwoo looks at him and takes note of the confused, worried look on his face. Just by that expression, Wonwoo knew that Hansol knew. “Hey, uh, hi Hansol.”

The confusion on his face was replaced by relief, “Hey. So… do you guys, uh, need a room?”

“Yeah.” Mingyu boldly answers while Wonwoo blushes, avoiding eye contact.

“You guys can use my room, I guess… better than some strangers, right?” Hansol nods his head towards the room he had just exited before casting a cautious look between them. “Have fun.” He shrugs, taking his leave.

Wonwoo was still chanting Mingyu’s name in his head when the latter pulls him into the room and pushing him up against the door that had just been closed, pressing his lips onto his. There was a pleasant jolt in Wonwoo’s system when teeth had bitten down on his lower lip and a tongue suddenly invades his mouth, making him moan.

“Hi. I’m Mingyu, a senior taking up visual communication.” He rasps after pulling away from the kiss.

“Mingyu?” Wonwoo repeats, still in a daze from the kiss.

“Yeah.”

“Mingyu-ah.” He repeats once more, a slow, easy smile crawling up his face. “That’s a nice name.” He tugs him closer for a quick peck. “I’m Wonwoo, a senior-that-was-supposed-to-graduate-last-semester AKA an irregular psych student.”

A strong, muscular thigh finds its way between Wonwoo’s legs and rubs against his crotch. “Nice to meet you, Wonwoo. Is there anything you’d like to know about me?”

He releases a shaky breath, hands gripping the other’s shoulders. It’s not like he was going to remember anything after tonight. “Uh,” It wasn’t supposed to come out so dirty. “Coffee or Tea?”

Mingyu laughs and it sounds like music to Wonwoo’s ears. “Coffee.”

“Tea.” Wonwoo answers himself, already grinding himself on Mingyu’s thighs. “Cats or dogs?”

“Dogs.”

“Cats.” He almost cried out, his orgasm nearing but he doesn’t want to soil his pants. “Top or Bottom?”

Mingyu leans forward, licking and sucking at his neck. “Usually top, but Christ, for you? Any.”

Wonwoo moans, dragging Mingyu’s body closer to him and scratching down his back. “Fuck—I can’t do this.” He pushes him away all of a sudden, ignoring the disheartened look on the taller boy’s face. “Final question, how hard can you go?”

“As hard as you want?” It sounded like a question, but Wonwoo accepted it. He grabs Mingyu by the collar of his shirt, probably stretching it out and growls near his lips.

“Prove it.”

It takes just about under five minutes to strip each other off of their clothes and have Wonwoo pinned under Mingyu. As Wonwoo’s eyes travel around Mingyu’s body, as if they could memorize each line of hard muscle, his brain was nagging at him to think of the consequences of what was happening. But all of that is thrown out the window when Mingyu lowers himself, arms straining and biceps flexing to hold him upcloser, to ghost his lips across the sharp edge of Wonwoo’s jaw.

“Just how hard do you want me to go?” He whispers when he brings his lips near Wonwoo’s ear, making the other shiver in delight.

“Wreck me.”

Mingyu’s fingers skim through Wonwoo’s jaw and trails down his neck, collarbones, and across the expanse of his milky white torso, before thumbing one of his pert nipple. “How can I wreck someone who looks so untainted? If not for your dirty little mouth, I would have thought you were a sweet, innocent virgin.” He leans down, swirling his tongue around the other nipple.

A weak whimper escapes Wonwoo’s lips. The small action already had him gripping at the sheets and it makes him recognize just how long it’s been since he was last laid. More than a year, he thinks and he was just about to recount the events that had led to the reason why—until a hand seizes his cock and slowly strokes him.

“You’re already leaking.” Mingyu says, running a thumb across the white bead of pre-cum on the tip. “I’ve barely touched you, baby. How bad do you want this?”

The tone was teasing and full of power and Wonwoo just knows he’s getting what he’s wanted.

And then there were one, two, three, four, five wet kisses down his body until it reaches its destination at the base of his cock, ending its journey with two open-mouthed kisses on each of his balls. The strokes continued, the pace still steady and slow, but every now and then, Mingyu would dart his tongue out to collect the pre-cum leaking from the tip.

“God, please.” Wonwoo moans, letting go of the sheets and cards his hands through Mingyu’s hair, urging him closer.

“That’s not my name, baby.”

Oh, shit. Oh, fuck. What was his name?

Mingyu’s hand speeds up, gripping a little tighter as he strokes Wonwoo. His eyes staring up at him, waiting for his name to slip past his lips, and the latter knows it.

Wonwoo was growing flustered. He didn’t think this boy was the type to want to hear his name. He watches Mingyu smirk at him.

“Cat got your tongue, baby?” He chuckles, licking from the base of his cock and traces all the dark veins on the underside. “I’m waiting.”

“Mingyu.” Wonwoo gasps, and almost immediately, he was rewarded for it.

The tip of his cock slips past Mingyu’s lips and he could feel the tentative sucks the boy was giving him. Mingyu’s tongue was swirling around the head and without any warning, he takes Wonwoo in deeper.

“Mingyu.” He moans, bucking his hips into the other’s mouth. It was nice, wet, and warm, and was sure as hell better than dealing with his hand on some nights. Mingyu knew what he was doing, Wonwoo was sure of it. He worked his lips, tongue, and hand around him that it felt like he was about to come any moment now.

Mingyu pulls away, with an obnoxiously loud pop, and stands up. “Hold on, I don’t have lube on me.”

“I’d be surprised if you did.” Wonwoo sighs, his cock was now painfully hard and the cold air wasn’t helping. “Why would you carry lube around?”

The other was going through the nightstand drawers when he laughs at what he had said. “Good point, but aren’t there lubes sold in packets?”

Wonwoo shifts on the bed, reaching over to the drawers on the opposite side. “Do you think one packet is enough?”

“I guess it depends on who I’m fucking.”

“Who are you fucking?” This wasn’t his business, why did he even ask—moreover, why did he care?

There was loud sound of triumph coming from Mingyu’s mouth when he finds the bottle of lube under a bunch of used tissues (he doesn’t want to stress himself over what they were even used for) and crawls over to Wonwoo, dragging him back under him with only one hand.

“Right now? I’ll be fucking you.” He grins and Wonwoo’s heart does somersaults at the sight of his canines.

Mingyu spreads Wonwoo’s legs and brings one of the pillows under him. Uncapping the bottle and putting a generous amount on his fingers, Mingyu watches Wonwoo’s reaction as he smothers the cool substance around his puckered hole. The boy’s lips part at the sensation and then it gets caught between his lips when, not one, but two digits slip past the entrance and probe him.

It was painful, Christ. Wonwoo had hoped that maybe sometime after the accident, he still got laid but had just forgotten. The burn of Mingyu’s fingers scraping within him was more pain than pleasure; however, the pleasure was still there. The pain was like trying to dry swallow a big pill and the pleasure was the slight tang of aftertaste the pill left in its wake.

“You’re really tight, Wonwoo. When was the last time you were fucked in this little hole of yours?” Mingyu’s fingers were knuckles deep when he began scissoring Wonwoo open, stretching him little by little.

“I don’t know.” Wonwoo quietly admits, sucking his lower lips back between his teeth when pleasure had overpowered the pain.

From his expression alone, Mingyu knew Wonwoo wasn’t hurting anymore and decides to speed up his pace and stretch his fingers inside him a little more widely. When a moan echoes in the room, he deemed him ready. He pulls out, earning a weak whimper of protest from the boy beneath him, and lathers his own cock with lube.

Wreck me, he remembers him requesting. Mingyu grins to himself, accepting the challenge.

With no warning at all, Mingyu pushed into Wonwoo, after raising his leg up, and they both grunted in pain. Wonwoo was tight and got a little tighter when he clenched his muscles, trying to accommodate Mingyu’s size in his hole.

“Move,” He whispered to the male above him. “Please.”

Slowly, Mingyu did, sliding out, but not all the way out, and then pushed back in. It was painful for Wonwoo, he could tell by the groans. But as soon as it morphed into pleasurable moans, he tried to pick up his pace.

“Fucking hell, you’re so tight.” Mingyu rasped, “Maybe you are a virgin.”

Wonwoo was sure he wasn’t. He experimented a lot during his freshman years, some of the time he got caught up between Seungcheol and Jeonghan’s flings. Most of the time, they were just random school mates that had shown up to the parties their upperclassmen threw and felt like they just had to get laid as a college student.

“Faster.” Wonwoo pleaded and instinctively, Mingyu complied. Thrusting faster, Wonwoo tried to meet his thrusts but found his body moving along with Mingyu’s already. His breathing became loud but short as his fingers scratched the length of Mingyu’s arms.

The other didn’t respond to the pain of the marks and continued moving faster and eventually harder—hitting a sweet spot inside Wonwoo that was driving him off of the edge. To make it worse (well, better, really) Mingyu jerks Wonwoo off, his hand secured around the latter’s cock and pumping as fast as he was thrusting.

Wonwoo half cries and half moans, “Yes, yes, yes!” His eyes were screwed shut and his jaw was slack. His hand found purchase on Mingyu's bicep, hard and toned under his grip, using it as an anchor to keep himself grounded.

Every thrust was sharp, hard, and calculated. The room echoed with skin slapping against skin, lewd sounds coming from both boys, and the bed creaking and gently tapping the wall beside it. They’ve muted out the noises of the ongoing party below and submerged themselves into their own little world.

A strangled cry came out of Wonwoo’s mouth, making Mingyu rip his attention away from his cock. Wonwoo’s eyes were open, heavy and glazed over with lust, looking up at him with a satisfied expression, his lips were still parted, panting loudly, and his entire face was flushed and red, covered in sweat.

Mingyu, in Wonwoo’s perspective, had his eyebrows in a bunch, chasing his own orgasm, his lips parted as well with his tongue darting out to wet them every now and then, his cheeks were equally red, and beads of sweat had started to roll down his forehead and drip down to Wonwoo’s torso.

Wonwoo had made a mistake to look down where they were connected; where he sees Mingyu’s large hand engulfing his dick, pumping it as fast as he was thrusting into him. The sight had pushed him over the edge and without warning, his orgasm came crashing in. Hot, white liquid spurts out of him and splashes onto his stomach and chest, body seizing as Mingyu’s hand milked him out.

He had thought it was over when Mingyu pulls out of him as soon as his cock fell limply against his abdomen, but then he was abruptly flipped onto his stomach, shoulders pinned to the bed and ass hiked up into the air. Mingyu enters him once more, harsh and in a blistering speed that made Wonwoo cry out. The high from his orgasm had blurred out the pain until pleasure was coursing back through his veins and his cock was hard and leaking once more.

He moves his head to the side and catches a glimpse of what was happening through the full length mirror by the bed. Mingyu’s head was thrown back with his hands, covered with veins leading up to his arms, gripping tightly on Wonwoo’s ass, spreading him apart. Every muscle was flexing and it made Wonwoo’s mouth water.

“Mingyu.” He remembers, chanting it in a whiny voice when he feels his second orgasm rushing out.

It was a beautiful sound to hear for Mingyu. His name chanted by Wonwoo, the need and want dripping from the low tone of the boy’s voice. And it was enough for him to come.

With a pained groan, Mingyu spills his seed into Wonwoo, riding it out with the same speed that had caused it. The other boy had found the strength to bring his own hand around his cock and stimulate it enough to come as well.

Wonwoo winces when Mingyu pulls out and falls to his side on the bed.

“Let me catch my breath and I’ll clean you up.” He breathes in broken words.

That’s awfully sweet, Wonwoo thinks, letting his hips fall back onto the bed and ignored the sticky sensation of his own ejaculation pressing onto his abdomen. His eyes flutter close when he feels Mingyu moving to get off of the bed.

“How are you?” He hears him asking.

“Wrecked. Thanks.” He weakly smirks, eyes still closed.

There was a low chuckle. “It was my pleasure.”

“Obviously, it was mine. I came twice.”

Something pressed against his temple: a kiss.

“I’ll be right back.” Mingyu whispers into Wonwoo’s ear before the latter falls asleep from exhaustion.

 

 

“Wake up, Wonwoo. Jihoon’s going to kill me if I don’t get you home in the next 30 minutes.”

Wonwoo blinks himself awake, eyes adjusting to the light and refocusing on the person moving in front of him. He feels his arm being forced into something, a sleeve? He looks at it and sees Soonyoung dressing him up.

“Soonyoung? What—where? Why are you here?”

“Be quiet, you’ll wake him up.”

He looks behind him and sees a mop of brown hair peeking out of a blanket. The same blanket that was caught between his thighs. “Who is that?”

Soonyoung looks at him, eyes worried and remorseful. “Hurry up and put your pants on.” He hands him his pants and Wonwoo realizes he was in his boxers.

“Did I just…”

A phone beeps and Soonyoung sighs, “Your best friend is worried sick about you, come on.”

Wonwoo decides not to ask the questions formulating in his head and slips his pants on. When he tries to stand up, his legs felt like jell-o and his lower body ached, answering some of the unasked questions in his head. Just as he zipped his pants up and tidies his shirt, Soonyoung is already escorting him out, ranting about how he had to drive from the city to get there to pick him up, and he spares a glance at the stranger sleeping on the bed.

 

 

Mingyu was half-expecting to wake up with Wonwoo beside him, but somehow he already knew that he wasn’t. He rolls off the bed and strips the sheets, messily folding it in his arms.

“I’m expecting you to wash that, too.” Hansol enters the room, a bowl of cereal in his hands.

“I already stripped it off for you. I thought your family hired someone to do the laundry every Sunday afternoon?”

Hansol shrugs, “Yeah, okay, fine. Dump that in the laundry room, then.”

Mingyu nods, moving past him but stops by the door. “Hey, you knew him, right? Wonwoo?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you friends?”

He shrugs his shoulders again, “Somewhat. My cousin, Seungcheol, is friends with him and I hung out with them sometimes.”

Mingyu nods his head.

“Hey.”

He looks up at Hansol, seeing the mild concern on his face.

“Wonwoo-hyung… If you’re interested in him…Never mind.”

“No, what is it?”

“Are you interested?” Hansol emphasizes and Mingyu cocks his head to the side.

“I don’t know, maybe?”

There was an unmistakable frown on the younger’s lips. “Seungcheol-hyung and Wonwoo-hyung’s other friends… they’re protective of him, get it? It’s going to be complicated, so… I don’t know, it’s not my business, really, but…” He pauses, “Maybe you should just forget what happened between you.”

Mingyu doesn’t want to forget what happened, hell; maybe he couldn’t forget it even if he tried. He wanted to ask Hansol about it, but the latter had put his bowl down, stripped his shirt off, and entered the bathroom without another word.

 

 

• • •

 

 

“Do I know you?”

Mingyu’s smile falters.

Wonwoo was standing in front of him, a hand resting on the book he was just about to take out from the shelf.

He finally, finally, sees him after a week the party.

They were in the library where he was looking for the book his group needed for reporting when he spied a familiar pair of sharp eyes through the slits of the shelves.

“I-I’m Mingyu? From the party? Hansol’s party?”

Wonwoo blinks at him. “Hansol? Choi Hansol?”

He nods, hopeful that he was starting to remember.

“I know he throws parties, but I’m pretty sure I haven’t been to any of them since Seungcheol graduated. Sorry, maybe you’ve mistaken me for someone else?”

“No, I’m sure it’s you.” Mingyu shakes his head. “You’re Wonwoo. You told me you’re a psych student who got held back for taking a semester off.”

He sees the realization forming beneath his eyes and waits for his reaction.

“Oh… I see. Look, I’m sorry, but I don’t remember you.”

Mingyu cuts him off, “How can you not remember someone you asked to wreck you?”

Maybe it was wrong for Wonwoo to do that in a relatively quiet and closed place like the library, but he couldn’t help himself. He couldn’t stop reaching out and swinging an open palm across the taller boy’s face, the distinct sound of skin against skin ringing in throughout the room.

Shock was all over Mingyu’s face, cheek turning redder by the second, while Wonwoo retracted his hands, face flushed and unreadable.

“I don’t remember. I’m sorry.” He whispers through gritted teeth before turning on his heels, the book he had meant to borrow forgotten, and hastily walking away.

Mingyu raises a hand to his cheek, wincing at the imprint Wonwoo had left.

 

 

• • •

 

 

“Do I know you?”

Mingyu frowns at Wonwoo, who was all giggly and red-faced. He had a beer bottle in one hand and the other was on his shoulder.

“You look sorta familiar. Maybe I’ve seen you around campus.”

The taller male makes a face, is he serious? He thinks. Is he joking or something?

“You slapped me in the library three days ago.”

Wonwoo stares for half a minute before bursting out into laughter, not noticing Mingyu’s face turn dark and contort into anger. “Oh shit, why would I slap a handsome face like yours?”

Mingyu shrugs his hand off his shoulder and walks away before Wonwoo could get another drunken word out of his mouth.

When he was just about to round the corner, he feels a hand grip on his wrist.

“Hey.” Wonwoo looks at him, frowning. “I’m sorry for laughing about slapping you and I’m sorry for that, too. I have a bad memory, okay. It’s hard to explain and also incredibly awkward to tell a stranger about it.”

Stranger.

Why did it hurt him to hear that?

When Mingyu’s frown remained, Wonwoo brings his hand up his arm and back down, soothing it. “Hey, I’m really sorry.”

Neither of them knew who leaned in first, but they were suddenly kissing; light and soft by the entrance to the living room, ignoring the people passing by and brushing against them. Mingyu just melted against Wonwoo’s lips, his hands pulling him closer by the hips until their crotches were barely touching.

He hears Wonwoo whimper when someone had passed behind him and knocks him forward, rubbing his growing hard-on against Mingyu’s. He skims his tongue across Wonwoo’s bottom lip and slips pass them when the other had parted them for him.

Wonwoo’s mouth was warm and wet, the sweet taste of apple-flavored beer still lingering on his tongue when he strokes it with his. The older of the two sucks his tongue and it makes him groan, his fingers digging into his sides.

Abruptly, Wonwoo pulls away and there was that awkward and gross sting of saliva that connected his lips to Mingyu’s tongue, still slightly sticking out. Mingyu wipes it with the back of his hand and notices the latter clutching onto the side of his head, a pained expression painted on his face.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, uh, headache… I need meds for it… which I left at home, how smart of me.” Wonwoo gives him an apologetic smile when he looks up at him. Recognition flashes briefly in Wonwoo’s eyes before he ducks his head back down and cups his head with both hands.

“Hey, do you want me to take you home?” Mingyu offers, the anger and confusion he had for the other, gone with the wind.

Wonwoo finds himself nodding, “If you don’t mind. I don’t know where my friends are and they’re probably wasted already.”

Mingyu takes the beer bottle away and puts it away for him. “Why are you drinking if you’re under medication?”

“I forget, sometimes.” Wonwoo sheepishly admits, stumbling through the hallway, even though Mingyu’s hands, big and warm, were guiding him by the shoulders.

The latter snorts, “You’re really forgetful now, aren’t you?”

They reach the front door and Mingyu opens it for them, the cold night air rushing in and kissing their exposed skins. Wonwoo shivers a little and Mingyu pulls him closer.

“Hey, your name…” Mingyu looks down at Wonwoo, who brought his hands from his head to under his arms. “Is it… Mingyu?”

The corner of Mingyu’s lips curve upwards, “Yeah. Yeah, it is.”

“Mingyu.” Wonwoo repeats, nodding his head. “That’s a nice name.”

“Thanks, you said that last time, too.”

“I did?”

Someone interrupts Mingyu before he could answer. Wonwoo’s name is called out in the air and they whip their heads to the source.

There was a boy who came over to them, half-running, half-jogging, with concerned eyes when they fell over Wonwoo and pointed glares when they snapped upwards to Mingyu.

“Jun.” Wonwoo says, sounding a bit surprised.

“Where are you going? I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

As Wonwoo explained himself, Mingyu gives the newcomer a once-over. He was taller than Wonwoo, but not taller than himself. He had dirty blonde hair that was disheveled and Mingyu can only deduce he had been making out with someone before he had come over. He was handsome, Mingyu admits, he looks like he can be an actor or a model even though he was wearing a graphic shirt and washed skinny jeans. From the way he talks, Jun doesn’t seem to be Korean at all.

“Let me take you home.” Mingyu blinks in surprise when Jun’s eyes cut through his. “I’ll take care of him.” His tone wasn’t friendly.

“Jun, don’t be rude. He was taking care of me.”

“Yeah, of course.” Jun says in an unconvinced and doubtful way that made Mingyu want to punch him. “Thanks, bro, but I got this.” He starts to guide Wonwoo back to the path they were previously walking before being halted.

Wonwoo looks back at him with the same apologetic smile he gave back inside the party. “Bye, Mingyu.” He quietly says, but it still reaches the other’s ears. “See you around?”

Mingyu’s lips curl up, ever so slightly, and waves, “See you around.”

Their eyes linger on each other for a bit, smiles small but steady, until Mingyu whips his head to look away and didn’t look back anymore.

He didn’t look back to see Wonwoo still gazing up at him like he held all the answers to the questions forming inside his brain.

 

 

“Why are you in my house at 6:34 in the morning?” Hansol sleepily glares at Mingyu, who had helped himself to a bowl of Oreo O’s while waiting for him to wake up.

“I have questions to ask,” He downs a glass of water before continuing, “About Wonwoo.”

“And that couldn’t wait until our class later? Aren’t you hungover? I heard you went to a party last night.”

“I am.Why do you think I’m having cereal in your house?” Mingyu adds more cereal into his bowl. “So, about Wonwoo…”

Hansol sighs, grabbing his own bowl and taking the box away from Mingyu. “Didn’t I tell you it’ll be complicated with Wonwoo-hyung?”

“Why? Why would it be complicated with him?”

The other waits until he’s done pouring milk into his bowl before answering, “Have you met up with him after the party?”

Mingyu nods, “Twice: in the library, three days ago, and last night at the party.”

“Did he remember you in the library?”

“...no.”

“How about last night?”

“Yes.” He answers a bit more confidently, remembering how his name sounded with Wonwoo’s voice and how he had complimented him again.

But Hansol didn’t seem impressed by it. “Wonwoo-hyung has a memory problem.”

Mingyu snorts, “You can say that again. He admitted it himself last night.”

“But did he tell you the whole story?”

There was a pause in their actions. The spoon overflowing with Oreo O’s and disintegrating marshmallow bites stopped halfway through its’ journey to Mingyu’s mouth.

“The whole story?” Mingyu cautiously repeats, choosing to put his spoon inside the bowl. He feels like he’s about to lose his appetite.

“This isn’t my story to tell.” Hansol sighs, running a hand through his hair. “But I guess, you deserve to know.”

Mingyu waits, watching the younger male eat a couple of spoonfuls before clearing his throat. It felt like an eternity before he began.

“Wonwoo-hyung has short term memory loss.”

Biting back a scoff, Mingyu opens his mouth to make a sarcastic comment, but Hansol’s next words puts him off guard.

“He was in a car accident the previous year and had severe head trauma. He took a semester off to recuperate. It was during his last hospital days did they realize he had acquired short term memory loss because he couldn’t remember the resident doctor who kept checking up on him. He has a hard time remembering things, people and events, after the accident. Like what you’ve experienced, he can remember you after some time, but it’s rare and it gives him bad headaches. His friends are constantly worried about him because the doctors warned them that it can trigger early onset Alzheimer’s or dementia that both apparently run in hyung’s family.”

Mingyu was at a loss for words, staring down into his bowl and watching his cereal break apart, having soaked up too much of the milk, while he mindlessly stirred his spoon.

“Do you understand now why it would be complicated being with Wonwoo-hyung? If he gets bad headaches from remembering on his own, what more when you force him to?”

 

 

• • •

 

 

“Do I know you?”

Mingyu watches the girl, who had taken a seat beside Wonwoo, chuckle and nod her head that made her hair bounce.

“Yes, you do. I’m Jangmi, your lab partner, and we agreed to meet here yesterday to do our report.”

He felt like a stalker, sitting across them in the library’s study room. It was the only area where people can converse, unlike the other rooms where the strict librarians demanded dead silence and allowed only the sound of pages turning is heard. It’s why Mingyu never really bothered to go into the library if he doesn’t have to, but ever since Hansol had told him about Wonwoo, he keeps spotting him around the campus and usually sorting through books in the library.

“Oh.” Wonwoo straightens his back, grabbing the planner he placed in front of him minutes before the girl came over, and flips through its’ pages. “That’s right, I wrote it down. Jangmi @ 2 in the library: lab report.”

A blush found its way on Wonwoo’s cheeks and Mingyu couldn’t decide to feel giddy at how cute he looked or jealous of the girl who had caused it.

“Sorry about that.” Wonwoo murmurs and the girl placeher hand on his shoulder.

“You don’t have to be sorry about it. I understand.”

So you know? Mingyu thinks, and stupidly thought he had said it out loud because he hears it with his own ears.

“Yes, Jihoon is, uh, a friend of mine… Actually, you and I are technically friends.”

“Ah. Sorry.”

“It’s fine. Should we begin?”

For the duration of them working, Mingyu watches, pretending to study so it wouldn’t look so obvious that he was. Every now and then, Wonwoo would sigh when something didn’t make sense in their research or crack a joke, to which Jangmi would either laugh or roll her eyes at—it was mostly the latter option.

There was a moment when Wonwoo was blatantly staring at Jangmi while she explained some concepts and how they can use them for their report. Deep inside Mingyu, jealousy bubbled at the sight of Wonwoo’s eyes dropping to her lips and back up at her eyes that were skimming through the page she was reading out loud. Jangmi shifts her head and meets Wonwoo’s gaze, holding a bit and unfazed by him.

Unknowingly, Mingyu’s fist clenches beneath the table when Jangmi leans forward, angling her head so it’s right by Wonwoo’s ear and starts to whisper. A pale blush forms on the apples of the boy’s cheeks and it traveled down to his neck when the girl giggles just before pulling away.

In Mingyu’s head, he had come up with a multitude of dialogues that could have possibly been exchanged between Wonwoo and Jangmi. Most of them were flirtatious, but judging from how Wonwoo had quietly replied to whatever Jangmi had whispered, he guessed he was wrong.

Wonwoo’s eyes snap to him and before he could look away or react, the former blushes a deep crimson before ducking his head down at his book.

Mingyu’s heart speeds up when he notices Jangmi, although not looking at him, smirking as she typed into her laptop. His stomach drops; did they know that he was watching?

There was subtle movement again and Wonwoo was looking back at Jangmi, lips moving and Mingyu was desperate to read them.

What’s his name?

Jangmi casts Mingyu a fleeting look before returning back to her laptop.

Mingyu, I think.

Mingyu, Wonwoo’s lips mimicked the way Jangmi’s had. That’s a nice name.

His heart started beating faster when a sheepish smile made its way on the other boy’s face, making him drop his eyes to the forgotten book in front of him. Maybe he was just imagining things; maybe they were talking about something else. Maybe it just so happen that it looked like they were saying the conversation he had conjured up his head. Maybe Wonwoo remembers him.

He hears chairs scratch against the floor and sees them slinging their bags on their shoulders, books cradled in their arms.

“I’ll just borrow these real quick.” Jangmi gestures to the books in her arms and turns around.

“Yeah, sure, I’ll wait for you.” Wonwoo takes a step forward and casts a curious glance at Mingyu, who flinches at the eye contact. There was trace of a smile on Wonwoo’s lips, Mingyu was sure of it, before he follows behind Jangmi.

He drops his forehead onto the table, slouching forward and covering his head with his arms. He feels so stupid. He feels stupid for stalking Wonwoo. He feels stupid for watching him do his lab report with his partner. He feels stupid for being jealous of said partner. He feels stupid for not being so discreet about watching them. He feels stupid for getting caught. He feels stupid for getting giddy over the thought that maybe Wonwoo had asked for his name, and once again said it was nice. He feels stupid for thinking he was in love with Wonwoo. He feels stupid because maybe he was.

 

 

• • •

 

 

“Do I know you?”

There was a cocky smirk plastered on Wonwoo’s red face. Obviously, he was drunk. He had caught Mingyu by surprise when the latter had gone upstairs to use the bathroom and escape the girls trying to drag him onto the makeshift dance floor of the party.

“You look really, and I mean, really familiar.” He slurred on and Mingyu’s tongue had forgotten how to function when his eyes dragged down Wonwoo’s body.

He was in a worn out muscle shirt with some band’s logo and denim ripped jeans, which were ripped so close to the crotch area, that Mingyu can just grab his—

“Maybe, I’ve dreamed of you.”

Mingyu scoffs, “Is that supposed to be a pick up line?”

Wonwoo half-heartedly shrugs, leaning against the banister of the stairs. “No, I don’t think so.” His eyes drag down his body and Mingyu feels insecure, a rare emotion the boy felt, in his university shirt and sweat pants. “But I understand that you’re probably used to getting those, huh? How many people have tried to get in your pants since you stepped into the party?”

“Lost count.”

“No one succeeded?”

“Maybe one, if you just ask.”

Wonwoo laughs, pearly whites gleaming under the low light, and Mingyu knows he’s screwed. “Do I really need to ask?” Since he was a step higher than Mingyu, he had the height advantage, and brushes his knee against Mingyu’s now-evident boner.

“No.” Mingyu chokes out in surprise, cheeks heating up at the touch. It was like Wonwoo’s personality had turned over a complete hundred and eighty degree since they first met. There was not a speck of shyness in his features nor was there any hesitation in his actions and words.

Clearly, he doesn’t remember him again. Nevertheless, Mingyu was desperate for some sort of interaction with Wonwoo. In the library, he hoped to reach the books Wonwoo couldn’t, but all the top shelves were in his reach. In the cafeteria, he hoped to grab a seat beside him on one of the tables, but Wonwoo never ate in the cafeteria. In the hallways, on the quad, in the parking lot, Mingyu hoped he could have one interaction with him, even a bump on the shoulder, anything, but not even a glance in his direction was given.

Now, Wonwoo’s hand was around Mingyu’s, guiding him through the people who escaped the excessive noise of the sound system below and lingered about the stairs and second floor. They find an empty room in no time and now, Wonwoo’s lips are everywhere on Mingyu. Lips, cheeks, jaw, neck, collarbones, every exposed skin to him, he kissed, and every new skin he exposed, he worshipped. He kissed love bites onto Mingyu, and the latter was so overwhelmed that he had let the other do whatever he wanted.

Wonwoo strips Mingyu of his shirt and while he discards his own, Mingyu’s fingers fumbled with the buttons of his pants and pushes them past his hips. Boldly, Wonwoo cups Mingyu’s erection, hot and hard through the material of his sweat pants, and lightly presses.

“Ooh, this seems uncomfortable.”

Mingyu inhales sharply, wrapping his hand loosely against the other’s wrist. Under sharp and curious eyes, Mingyu grinds his hips into Wonwoo’s palm with a whine.

“You’re so impatient. I don’t think we’ll make it to the bed.” Wonwoo chuckles as he retracts his hand away and kneels in front of him.He pulls the waistband of Mingyu’s pants and briefs down. Mingyu’s cock springs up and it hits Wonwoo’s chin, making the former grunt at the contact and the latter laugh. “Whoa, will this fit my mouth?”

Babe, if it fits your tight ass, then it fits your mouth too, Mingyu thinks and had every intention to voice it out, if Wonwoo hadn’t shoved his dick into his mouth. He bucks his hips and falls back against the door. “Holy fuck.”

Wonwoo’s hand was wrapped around the base, twisting his wrist as he pumps the length that didn’t fit in his mouth. His cheeks were hollowed out, practically sucking out the life off of Mingyu while he bobbed his head.

Mingyu held Wonwoo’s head with both hands, tangling his fingers into his hair, and did his best not to fuck the latter’s mouth.

He hissed when Wonwoo unsheathes his teeth and bares them, lightly grazing the sensitive skin of Mingyu’s shaft and unravels the built up knot in the bottom of his stomach. He comes, almost violently, into Wonwoo’s mouth and the other boy obediently swallows, even licking up those that spilled through his lips.

Wonwoo smirks, standing up and eyeing Mingyu, who had completely, fell slack against the door. “Don’t tell me you’re tired already.”

Mingyu replies with slow pants and heavy-lidded eyes, shaking his head.

“I’ll take care of you.” He kisses and Mingyu can taste himself.

They strip off their pants completely and Wonwoo fishes out a packet of lube from his pants, earning a bewildered, but amused, look from Mingyu.

“Is that lube?”

“No, it’s ketchup for extra flavor when I eat your ass out.” Wonwoo deadpans before breaking out into a grin, “Yes, it’s lube. I don’t know but I had this thought that maybe there was lube sold in packets and when I saw that there were, I has this strong urge to buy one.”

Mingyu fights off the grin creeping up his face, taking the packet from Wonwoo and reading the printed words around it. “Do you think one packet is enough? Strawberry?”

“I like strawberries.” Wonwoo shrugs, taking the lube back and ripping it open. “I hope it is.” He squeezes out a good amount onto his cock and lathers it.

The taller male watches and it was only then he realized that he was going to be the receiving end of the cock this time. The image of Wonwoo pounding into him had sent blood to rushing to his cheeks and dick.

Before Wonwoo can tell him to do so, Mingyu turns around and kneels on the bed. “Eager, are we?” He chuckles, applying lube to Mingyu’s whole and the latter shudders.

It takes awhile to stretch Mingyu out, but when he was ready, Wonwoo pushes into him and their moans harmonize.

“Shit. You’re tight.”

“I-It’s been awhile since I’ve…” Mingyu bites down on his lower lip a little too hard, maybe even drawing a bit of blood.

“If you weren’t a bottom, I would have gladly let you top me.” Wonwoo shakily laughs, slowly pulling out.

“Fuck, yes, just move, please. It’s okay, it’s okay,” He cries out, “I’d bottom for you any day.”

He couldn’t see the smirk on Wonwoo’s face but the grip on his ass told him it boosted his ego to hear that. “Let’s take it slow for a bit, is that okay?”

When Mingyu silently agrees with a series of short, but rapid nods, Wonwoo pulls out and pushes back in, letting Mingyu’s hole accommodate his size. He repeats the motion for a few minutes until he starts to pick up pace.

The boy below him begins to moan, clutching onto the sheets and trying to meet Wonwoo’s thrusts. He lets his head rest against the mattress and uses his hands to push his cheeks further apart. It was a marvelous sight for Wonwoo, having someone who exuded dominance and masculinity being submissive and compliant under him. It was enough to push him off the edge, digging his fingers on Mingyu’s waist and snapping his hips harder into him.

Mingyu cries, letting one of his hands go around his own cock and began pumping.

Within seconds, Wonwoo comes into Mingyu, spurting hot, thick ropes of white inside him and the sensation triggers Mingyu’s own orgasm.

Wonwoo pulls out, dropping to the bed before kissing the other’s shoulder. “That was amazing.”

Mingyu smiles at him, tired and lazy. He looks down his body and scowls, his cum were all over his chest, hands, and some had dripped down the mattress. He felt sorry for whoever’s bed was this, but there was no way he was sleeping on it with Wonwoo. He casts him a glance and holds back a laugh, seeing the latter already dozing off.

He sits back on his knees and carefully gets out of bed, wincing at the soreness of his bottom. He heads to the bathroom to clean himself off and grabs a warm, wet towel for Wonwoo. Mingyu gently wipes Wonwoo’s cock clean, careful not to stimulate him and be tempted to suck him off. His eyes travel up the other boy’s torso, noting the slow and steady rising of his chest. He notices a faint scar line across his right chest.

After discarding the towel, Mingyu looks around the desk parallel to the bed until he finds a broad-tipped marker and prods back to Wonwoo’s side. Slowly, he writes his phone number across Wonwoo’s chest and signs his name. As he caps the marker, he hopes it doesn’t get smudged or erased when he wakes up.

He had a struggle to get Wonwoo into his shirt and boxers, before tiredly dressing himself up and walking up to the door. With a hand on the knob, he glances back at Wonwoo and silently prays he’ll be calling him soon.

 

 

• P R E S E N T •

 

 

Mingyu was running late and in the back of his mind, he can already hear Minghao nagging at him for being so. It wasn’t his fault that his phone didn’t charge last night and that it drained out before it had a chance to set the alarm off. He couldn’t help, however, run into the nearest cafe en route to the school for a quick coffee fix.

As he waits for his iced venti Americano, thinking it was going to be a long day at the art exhibit, he scans the cafe in boredom. There were, he presumes to be, college students littered about, huddled over their notebooks or laptops with a cup or two of their drinks. There were some businessmen on their phones or conversing with each other in hushed, serious tones. There were middle-aged women sharing a pot of tea, boisterously laughing and sharing stories of their personal lives, oblivious to the fact that no one else around them was interested about them.

He caught the bored, curious eyes of a petit male that was leaning on his arm against the edge of the table. The male had looked back at his companion and took a sip from his iced coffee, dangling haphazardly from his fingers.

Mingyu looks over to the male’s companion and all the wind was knocked out of his lungs.

God, it’s been years but he still looks the same: flawless and beautiful.

There was no mistake that Mingyu’s eyes had been graced by Wonwoo’s features, all lit by the soft morning glow from the rising sun’s rays that peeked out of the clouds outside. But all of a sudden, their last encounter crashed into his memories like the waves in a raging ocean. All the regret and memories he forced to bury in the back of his mind spilled into every vein of his body and the remnants of the pain of that night 5 years ago cut up the closed wounds open as if they never really healed. As if they were waiting for them to meet again, knowing it would still affect him no matter how convinced he was that he had moved on.

Mingyu stood frozen by the pick-up counter, eyes wide and stuck on Wonwoo, who had laughed at something his companion had said.

“A slice of New York cheesecake for a Jihoon?” The barista called out from behind him, surprising him into a small jolt.

Wonwoo’s companion stood up and Mingyu looks away, towards the worker who had called up his order.

“And a venti iced Americano for a Mingyu.” The barista smiles at him, gliding his drink over to him with a straw and a wad of napkins.

“Thank you.” He nods his head and returns the smile.

“Enjoy your day. Jihoon-ssi?” The barista turns his head to person who had stepped beside him, the top of boy’s head just barely aligned with his chest.

“Yes, thanks.” Mingyu watches Jihoon reach over and take the plate of his cake, casting a fleeting look at him, wondering why he was watching.

Mingyu sends him a polite smile, tipping his head and Jihoon reciprocates the action with a forced, small smile, before heading back to his seat in front of Wonwoo.

So that’s what Jihoon looks like. Mingyu scoffs to himself, everything Wonwoo had told him about his best friend was true from appearance to personality.

His phone rings and he mindlessly answers, eyes still trained on Wonwoo, who had stolen a bite from Jihoon’s cake. He jumps at the angry tone on the other end of the line that was screaming Chinese profanities, or so he guessed were profanities.

“Where are you?! You were supposed to set up ten minutes ago!”

“I’m sorry, Hao! Just grabbed some coffee! I’m on my way now.” Mingyu hissed when he checks his watch, taking his coffee from the counter and rushing out the door. Before he passes through, he was able to catch a glimpse of Wonwoo with brown eyes staring at him in curiosity. And that was it.

Not a single recognition at all.

 

 

• P A S T •

 

 

Mingyu knew Wonwoo wouldn’t call immediately. He emotionally prepared himself for that. He constantly reminded himself that it would probably take days, maybe even a week, for Wonwoo to call back. But he couldn’t help but shake off that nagging voice in the back of his head, that sounds like his roommate, Minghao, if he were to describe it, that maybe Wonwoo wouldn’t call because he doesn’t remember that he had sex with a stranger, who happened to write his number on his chest, and most probably doesn’t want to meet the guy who’d he’s been in bed with.

But he was wrong.

The following afternoon after that night, Mingyu was walking through the quad to his dorm when his phone began ringing. He answers, thinking it was either Seokmin or Hansol, and drawls out a lazy greeting while struggling to keep his bag on his shoulder.

“Are you Mingyu?” The deep voice on the other end of the line made him freeze. He pulls his phone away to check the caller I.D. and finds an unknown number.

“Y-yeah… Wonwoo?” He asks after putting the phone back to his ear.

The other end cuts off and he frowns at the dial tone.

“Wait, sorry!” Mingyu looks up and sees Wonwoo, flustered and running towards him. He stops a few steps away, “I didn’t mean to hang up like that. I was just making sure you are Mingyu.”

“I am Mingyu, so…”

Wonwoo looks back and Mingyu’s eyes follow his sight, seeing two cheerleaders laugh amongst themselves. Mingyu recognizes one of them as the girl who was with Wonwoo in the library the other day. “Jangmi told me you were Mingyu.”

“Oh.” He sucks his lips in for awhile, contemplating for a moment. “Is she your girlfriend or something?”

“If she was, then she should be glaring daggers at us because we slept with each other last night.” Wonwoo enjoys the deep flush that spreads across Mingyu’s cheeks. “No, she’s not.” He answers his question, “That’s her girlfriend, Doyeon.”

Mingyu’s jaw just drops a little at the new knowledge, “Oh.”

“Yeah, they get that a lot, apparently.” Wonwoo shrugs his shoulders, “Anyway, so you’re Mingyu, the guy who wrote his number on my chest after we had sex. Hi.”

“Right… uhm, hi?”

“Why though? I mean, why write your number across my chest in a permanent marker when you could have slipped a piece of paper in my pocket or something.” He laughs, rubbing his chest absentmindedly, “It hasn’t come off yet.”

Mingyu’s eyes bug out, “Oh, shit, I’m so sorry! It’s just… I wanted to… I wanted to make sure you would see it and remember…” He clamps his mouth shut and watches Wonwoo’s face contort in confusion.

“Do… we know each other?”

“No-not really.” He licks his lips, trying to word his sentences properly so he wouldn’t sound like a stalker. “Uhm, we met at a different party weeks ago and we…”

“Slept together?”

“Yeah. And a few days after that, we met in the library and you…”

“Didn’t remember you?”

Mingyu nods again, “We met again at another party, but you went home early with someone because you had a headache and you needed to take meds.”

It’s Wonwoo’s turn to nod, not saying anything and patiently waiting for Mingyu to finish.

“We met again last night and now… here we are.” Mingyu rubs at his nape, uncharacteristically awkward and squirming under the unreadable, narrowed eyes of the boy looking up at him.

“Do you know about my condition?”

“Yeah, uh, Hansol told me about it.”

It takes a minute for Wonwoo to react. “Oh, Choi Hansol?”

“Don’t get mad at him for telling me about it, I sort of, forced it out of him.”

“Why?”

“Well, he said that it wasn’t his story to tell, which is true—”

“No, I mean, why force it out of him? Why do you want to know?”

Don’t sound like a creep, Mingyu. He reminds himself before quietly admitting, “I’m interested in you, like, I want to know more about you.”

There was that unmistakable sad smile on Wonwoo’s lips. “Even if you get to know me… I’ll always forget you.”

“But… there was that one time, when you remembered me.”

“I did?”

“You remembered my name because you think it’s nice.”

“It is.”

“And maybe that’s why I want to push this.”

Wonwoo cocks a brow and frowns a little, “Are you sure about this? I mean, you barely know me.”

“What else are first dates for?” Finally, Mingyu was able to be more like his self since Wonwoo had approached him. He smirks at the latter, the sharp edge of his canines showing. His clammy hands slip into the pockets of his jeans as he straightens his back, confidence and the epitome of masculinity emanating from him.

A chuckle escapes past Wonwoo’s lips as he ducks his head down and crosses his arms, “Well, if you put it that way. Why not?”

They were both free that evening and decided to eat at the local diner. Mingyu ordered a chicken and mojos platter while Wonwoo had a double cheeseburger with a side of fries.

“I love cheeseburgers.” Wonwoo sighs in content after taking a bite of his food.

“I’ll make sure to remember that.”

That made Wonwoo blush, bashfully ducking his head down to swallow. “So, how do we do this? I’m assuming we’ve already at least know a thing or two about each other.”

“How about we start over?” Mingyu sits up and sticks his hand out to him, “Hi, I’m Kim Mingyu.A senior taking up visual communications.”

“I’m Jeon Wonwoo, a psych student. I was supposed to graduate last year but because of the accident, I had to take a semester off so I’m making up for my missed subjects now.”

“What accident? If you don’t mind me asking?”

“A car accident. A truck crashed into the taxi I was in. I didn’t see it coming because the trucks headlights were off and I wasn’t able to brace myself. I hit my head against the window and the head trauma caused me to have short term memory loss.”

Mingyu exaggerates a gasp, making Wonwoo laugh and nudge his leg under the table.

“Those are the sure facts I’ve got down. The others are hazy and sometimes, my friends have to remind me.”

“Wait, how do you study for a test?”

“By waking up early and studying hours before it.” Wonwoo sighs, picking out the slice of tomato that fell off the side of his burger and popping it into his mouth. “My doctors explained how sleeping is like a reset button for my memories. I don’t know much about it… or maybe I do, but I just don’t remember.”

“Is it… curable or… jeez, I make it sound like a disease or something.”

“No, it’s fine. But, yeah, I guess so? I’m not really sure.” Wonwoo shrugs his shoulders. “Sometimes I do remember, sometimes I don’t. To get by school, I have an app on my phone that sets alarms when and where my classes are. I carry around a planner for schedules and the likes. Also, my best friend makes it a point to call thrice a day to remind me about these things.”

Mingyu had just finished off his platter, licking off his fingers and completely unaware that Wonwoo was watching. “Sounds like a lot of work.”

“It… is.” Wonwoo swallows, eyes snapping up to Mingyu’s when they looked up from the empty plate. “Say, how about you tell me something about yourself now?”

Mingyu sits up again, an extra bounce to his shoulders when he does so and a bright grin gracing his face. Deep inside Wonwoo, it made him think of Mingyu as a puppy he wants to cuddle and a strong sense of déjà vu hits him.

“Like what?”

Before he could suggest anything, a boy stalks up to their booth, grabbing Mingyu’s attention.

“Hey! Mingyu! It’s great that I caught you here.” The newcomer glances at Wonwoo and beams at him, eyes turning into crescents, “Hi! I’m Seokmin!”

“W-Wonwoo…” He awkwardly waves back.

“What’s up, Seok?” Mingyu asks and Seokmin slings his backpack on the table.

“Thanks for lending me your Instax. Turns out, I don’t need to buy it from you. My cousin found hers and she’s giving it to me instead.”

“No problem.” Mingyu takes the camera from Seokmin and stares at it, “Hey, does this still have film?”

Seokmin claps his hands, “Yeah, like three? But since you’ve graciously lent me your precious camera, tada~” He hands him a new box of film. “I got you another pack!”

“Thanks, man.”

“It’s nothing. See you around. Nice meeting you, Wonwoo!” He saluted both of them, zipping up his backpack and returning to his table on the other side of the diner.

Wonwoo chuckles, “He’s a bundle of sunshine.”

“A happy virus, really.” Mingyu slides the camera and the box of film towards him. “Here, take it.”

“What? No. Why? You literally just got that a few seconds ago.”

“Because,” Mingyu says in a matter-of-fact tone, “I think this can help you remember easily. Take photos of people or things you want to remember and write down the date or a short description of it at the back.”

Wonwoo chews on the bottom of his lips. It was a good idea and Mingyu had a point. “Let me buy these from you.”

“No. Think of them as flowers… to our first date.” He gestures to their empty plates and gives him a lopsided smile. “Seriously, keep them. I’m sure they can help you with your memory loss.”

He blinks at him, taking in the lazy smile and his eyes that sparkled in the diner’s terrible lighting. “Would you mind… kissing me?”

“Right now?”

“Yeah. Is that a problem for you or?”

“No, no, it’ll be my pleasure.” Mingyu retorts, leaning over the table quickly and pressing his lips against Wonwoo’s.

Instantly, Wonwoo’s lips move on its own accord, as if they’ve already had a taste of Mingyu and it all comes crashing down on him—the night they first met. He pulls away, a slight pain prickling the side of his head. “Thank you.” He whispers, blushing as he focuses on the camera, tracing the smooth, matted casing with the pad of his fingers. “I don’t exactly know how to use this.”

Mingyu smiles, moving around the booth to sit beside him, “Here, this tells you how many films there are left inside and this is the power button.” He turns the camera over to show him the buttons while Wonwoo still had his hands on it. “You look through here and press the shutter button to take the photo.”

Wonwoo nods, stretching his arms out and turning the camera around so it faced them. “Smile!”

Instinctively, Mingyu leans closer and smiles for the camera just as Wonwoo presses the shutter. The flash goes off and they were both momentarily blinded by it.

“Uhm, ow?” Wonwoo rubs his eyes after putting the camera down.

“Sorry, should have warned you about the flash. It’s automatic.”

The film comes out of the camera slowly and Mingyu pulls it out, waiting for the image to develop.

“I usually associate polaroids with hipsters. Are you a hipster, Mingyu?” Wonwoo chuckles, peeking at the photo.

It surprisingly looked better than he thought since it was literally his first try in using an Instax. It was only when they saw the photo did they realize how close they were to each other when they took it, sending a pale rosy tint on their cheeks.

“Do you need a marker?” Mingyu hands the picture over to him and stands up, making his way back to his seat before Wonwoo can answer. He produces a pencil case from his bag and takes out a marker. When he hands it to Wonwoo, the latter can spy the excitement in his eyes that made him hold back a chuckle.

Wonwoo uncaps the marker and begins to write on the empty space of the Polaroid beneath the photo. Below the date, he writes in clear letters ‘First date with Mingyu.’

“So there will be a second date, since you put in ‘first date’ and not just ‘date’?”

“You said to think of these,” Wonwoo waves his hand over the camera and film, “As the flowers to our first date. So I assumed there will be a second one.”

Mingyu shrugs, “It’s up to you if you want another one. If you do, it’ll be better than having dinner in this place.”

“Then maybe I do want one.”

He smiles at him, “I can drive us to a fancier restaurant or maybe a movie house or something.”

“You can drive?” Wonwoo grins, “Then that changes everything. I might want a third date.”

Mingyu laughs at him, “I’ll drive you wherever you want.”

They hold their gazes for awhile, eyes glistening with amusement and curiosity under the diner lights. Wonwoo can feel different emotions surging inside him and he can feel a sense of déjà vu hurling at him with such a terrible speed that he forces himself to look away from Mingyu just to avoid the painful collision.

“I wanted to learn how to drive.” He says after he had looked away. “But because of my short term memory loss…” He ends with a sigh, fingers twiddling with each other until Mingyu’s hand covers them and holds them still.

Wonwoo’s eyes go back to Mingyu’s face. He was smiling at him, almost mischievously, but mostly sincerely. “Like I said, I’ll drive you wherever you want.”

“You don’t have to.”

“But I want to.”

He fights back the shit-eating grin Mingyu had triggered. “Okay.”

Mingyu walks him back to his dorm and on their way; they talk more about each other. As it turns out, he was younger than Wonwoo by a year and had apologized for the informalities. But Wonwoo waved him off and didn’t feel the need to correct him.

“I was supposed to graduate last semester, remember?” He laughs and Mingyu blushes, obvious even under the streetlights.

The night was still young, especially on Saturday’s like these. It was probably around 8 o’clock and around this time, Mingyu would have ditched his bag in his dorm, changed clothes, and looked for a party to crash. Wonwoo would have probably done the same, but there were nights when he’d rather curl up into a book instead.

“There’s not a single cloud tonight.” Wonwoo points out, tilting his head back and blinking up at the white dotted black sky. “That night of the accident… It was spring break. Jihoon and the others went on ahead to the beach resort we were supposed to stay at. It was pretty far because we wanted to be as far as possible from the main city. I stayed behind to finish up a part of my thesis so I wouldn’t be burdened by it during the break. When the taxi I hired was close to the destination, the driver mentioned how you could tell you were far from the city because there were more stars in the sky and he said if I looked outside the window, it would seem like I can pluck one out of the sky.” He pauses to swallow hard and stops walking, Mingyu stops as well and waits for him to finish. Their eyes meet when he whispers in a low voice with a forced, small smile on his lips, “I never saw the sky that night.”

Dread and horror pulsated through Mingyu’s body, imagining the truck crashing against the side of the taxi and crushing Wonwoo inside. He thought he heard a crack and couldn’t—wouldn’t—decide whether it was the taxi’s window or Wonwoo’s head smashing against it. Anger came over him next. He was mad at the truck driver for not having his headlights off. He was mad at the taxi driver, even though it wasn’t entirely his fault, for not noticing the stupid truck that didn’t have the motherfucking headlights on. When all those emotions began to fade, remorse was left in his system. All he wanted now was to drive Wonwoo out of town and show him the sky he should have seen that night.

“My dorm is near.” Wonwoo pulls him out of his thoughts and he realized that he never verbally reacted to what the former had revealed. “Come on.”

They start walking again and in a few minutes, they reach Wonwoo’s dorm. It was just like Mingyu’s dorm, a 5-story Manhattan-style building but with a large placard beside the door that said “Hermaphroditus.” The university’s previous chancellor had a thing for Greek mythology and had all the dorms and buildings within campus changed into the names of gods, goddesses and the likes.

“Hermaphroditus? Isn’t this the only dorm that’s…” Mingyu’s voice trails off when a boy exits the building, a gym bag on his shoulder, and bumps fist with a girl, who looked like she had came from an evening jog. She enters the same building and disappears from their sights.

“Co-Ed. The rooms are mostly singles. Since Jihoon, my roommate back in Ares, graduated and moved out, I decided to move into a single bedroom dorm. Hermaphroditus was the only dorm that had singles.” Wonwoo explains, ushering Mingyu inside. “We’re pretty liberated here since the only one in charge of the entire building is the security guard; we call him old man Kyung. Good evening.” The said security guard was seated behind a desk, who tipped his hat at them with a wrinkled smile. They walk past him and wait for the elevator, something Mingyu was surprised to see.

When the elevator door glides open, the passenger looks up and grimaces at Wonwoo. “Jeon Wonwoo, Jihoon has been nagging my ear off to go out and look for you.” It was Jangmi, looking like she was fresh out of the shower and messily towel-dried her hair. “Where’s your phone?”

“In my bag.” He takes it out and frowns when he opens it, seeing a flood of messages and missed calls, “I must have accidentally put it on silent.” He and Mingyu enter the elevator and Jangmi sighs as she slumps on the side, pressing the fourth floor button.

“I should get used to this.” Mingyu hears her mumble, but it didn’t seem to reach Wonwoo’s ears. She abruptly turns to him, making him flinch in surprise.

“Oh, right. Mingyu-ah, this is Jangmi. She just started to live across me.”

Jangmi stares at Wonwoo, eyes a little wide and surprise evident in them. She smiles, almost proudly, and looks up at Mingyu. “I came over from the Athena dorm.” She shakes his hand when he holds it out.

“Why’d you move?”

Jangmi snorts, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "Did you know there's a rule that you can date anyone but your roommate? One of us had to move out and since most of our neighbors were her blockmates, I volunteered to move out."

"And they say chivalry is dead." Wonwoo jokes and they all laugh.

The elevator dings, signaling they've reached their floor and the door opens.

"Well, I'll go tell Jihoon you're still alive so you two can have..." She arches a brow at them and smirks, "Alone time. See ya." She winks at them and scurries off to her room, door slamming closed after she enters.

Wonwoo, ignoring Jangmi's obvious hints, leads Mingyu to his room.

"Why is it so fancy in this dorm?" Mingyu wonders out loud.

"I was just as surprised about the elevator and carpet floors. Old man Kyung said it was because this building used to be a hotel before the university bought it and had it turned into a dorm. They renovated the rooms so they can be singles, but obviously they kept the carpets and room numbers. Four-oh-six. This is my room.” Wonwoo points to the one across it, “And Jangmi is in room 12.”

“How do you remember your room?”

Wonwoo lifts his hand up and shows the inside of his palm. Underneath his middle and ring finger was a small tattoo that said ‘406.’ “To be honest, since it’s been a recurring memory, I don’t have that much trouble remembering it. It’s just there in case I have any lapses.”

“You had it tattooed?”

“No. Jangmi rewrites it every day before I go to class.” He pauses to get the keys from his bag. “Uhm, do you want to come in?”

“I don’t fuck on the first date.” Mingyu blurts out.

“But you fuck random strangers? Nice.” Wonwoo snorts, opening the door and switching the lights on.

Mingyu pouts, “So did you. Besides, I thought we were starting this off with a clean slate!”

Wonwoo toes off his shoes and Mingyu does the same, closing the door behind him after he does so. He looks around Wonwoo’s room and it looks like any other dorm on campus would look like. A single bed with double nightstands connected a wooden headboard, a study table, a cabinet with drawers below, and a bathroom. The only thing that probably stood out in Wonwoo’s room was the pieces of paper tacked on the wall. Every page had contact numbers, names, addresses, maps, reminders, and the likes.

“This is what I wake up to every day.” Wonwoo spreads his arms out like a magician who finished his trick. “Every detail I need to know and I have to know are on these papers.”

“Wouldn’t it help you remember if they were color coded?”

“Jangmi suggested that, too. But we never got to redoing them because she’s always tired from cheer practice.”

“I can help you. I mean, hello, visual communications student.” Mingyu smugly gestures to himself.

“Ah, my hero.” Wonwoo rolls his eyes before it lands on the wall across his bed. He digs inside his bag for the photo they took, which he hid in his wallet for the meantime. “Maybe I can use this wall for the photos? What do you think?”

Mingyu nods his head, “You should use washi tape. It’s this tape—”

“Made out of paper and printed with cutesy designs, yes, I’m aware. Jangmi offered me hers just in case we got around to fixing that.” He points at the other wall.

“You two seem close.”

“She’s friends with Jihoon first, but now she’s like my girl best friend. She got held back a semester because she shifted in second year and she’s making up for the missed majors.”

“Psych, too?”

“Visual communication to Psychology.”

“Explains all the art materials she’s lending you. Did you guys meet before the accident, or?”

“After. But since she’s been a constant in my daily life, it’s easier remembering things about her.”

“So, I should be a constant in your life to be a remembered.”

Wonwoo nods, “Yeah, but that would mean interacting with each other every day.”

Mingyu grins at him. “That’s not a problem for me.”

Just as Wonwoo was about to retaliate, he yawns into his hand.

“It’s getting late. I’ll go ahead now.” Mingyu turns for the door, but Wonwoo stops him.

“Thank you, by the way, for dinner and the camera.”

“You’re welcome. Good night, Wonwoo.” He was just about to head for the door again but he catches the distraught look on his face and he takes a long stride towards him, pulls him by the nape and presses a kiss on his forehead.

It sent a deep, crimson blush across Wonwoo’s face and his lips curling ever so slightly. “Good night… Mingyu.”

“You remember.” He quietly jokes.

In return, Wonwoo grins softly, just enough for his teeth to show and the apples of his cheeks to rise.

“It’s a nice name.”

 

 

• • •

 

 

Things with Wonwoo were going better than Mingyu predicted. The night after their first date, they ran into each other in the library in the morning. Mingyu had already spotted him from afar but decided to let Wonwoo approach him, and he did. Wonwoo catches his attention by waving, hesitantly and meekly. His fingers were twiddling with one another as he asks if he was Mingyu. When Mingyu nods, he proceeds to ask a series of questions that just wanted to confirm the events that took place last night.

“Do you remember?”

“Barely. Not all.” Wonwoo pulls out the polaroid from his text book. “This helped though.”

Mingyu smiles, “Well, do you want a date 2 today? It’s pretty sad we’re in the school library on a Sunday.”

“I vaguely remember something about seeing you here… by any chance… did I slap you here…?”

The color on Wonwoo’s face drained when Mingyu nodded his head with an amused smile playing on his lips.

“I’m so sorry.”

“You’ve already apologized.”

“Well, how about I treat you for lunch as a proper apology? It could be the second date.” Wonwoo suggests with a tinge of pink on his lips while tucking the photo back into his book.

Mingyu suspected their second date would be days after their first one, but he finds himself accepting Wonwoo’s offer with bubbling excitement.

They had bought Chinese take-outs and ate it at the quad, luckily grabbing an empty table. They talked about whatever they could. Their lessons, the professors they hated or liked, their classmates, personal friends, parties, etc. What seemed like an hour wereactually 4. Somehow they survived the harsh high noon sun, spending hours basking under its heat without them noticing.

"Oh! I brought the Instax with me. We should have taken a photo before we ate." Wonwoo frowns at the empty noodle boxes and dimsum cartons. "But better late than never, right?"

They huddle close and pose for the camera, this time Mingyu takes it for him. The photo comes out nicely and Mingyu comments how it was properly exposed, much to Wonwoo's confusion.

And that caused another hour spent together as Mingyu tried to explain the basics of photography, a field he self-proclaims to be his expertise.

Their date ends with Wonwoo receiving a call from Jihoon, reminding him that he had meds to take and to video chat him as soon as possible. Mingyu tells him he’ll clean up and Wonwoo tells him goodbye, kissing him on the cheek before sprinting off.

Suddenly, it was like all the heat left by the setting sun was absorbed by the spot Wonwoo had kissed on Mingyu’s cheek.

The next days after, they still met up. Some by coincidence and some on purpose. It would always start with Wonwoo recognizing Mingyu’s face and asking about what had happened the previous day. Mingyu would confirm, sometimes correct him, and they would end up spending some time together. Wonwoo would photograph them both to add to the growing collection. He considered even short coffee or snack breaks together as dates.

The days when they didn’t meet up because of school, Wonwoo would forget. He wouldn’t even spare a glance at Mingyu until the latter would make himself known.

At one point, Mingyu finds out that Wonwoo had personally requested Jangmi to remind him of Mingyu in the morning when they walk to class together. For Wonwoo, remembering moments with Mingyu was easier than he had expected after a few weeks of Jangmi reminding him in the morning and meeting Mingyu at night.

One Saturday evening, instead of partying the week’s stress away, Wonwoo invites Mingyu over to rewrite and redecorate the information tacked on the walls. He managed to drag Jangmi over with her art supplies, too, much to her annoyance.

Jangmi arranges the pieces of paper accordingly and hands it to Mingyu, who helps Wonwoo write each of the information on their own respective sticky notes.

“Yellow for people, green for places, pink for dates… should I separate the phone numbers from the yellow sticky notes and put them on blue ones?” Wonwoo thinks out loud, slumping against his chair and pushing his reading glasses up his nose.

“No. It’ll be better to put the numbers with the names. Saves space.” Mingyu take the blue pad away from Wonwoo.

“And paper.” Jangmi grumbles, putting away the pages Wonwoo had already rewritten and piling them up in a box.

A few minutes later, Wonwoo was done rewriting and the other two checked if everything was right. After the information was double checked, they began to stick them up the wall in neat rows and columns—as demanded by Jangmi.

“Are we done yet?” Jangmi watches Mingyu slide his hand over the last sticky note.

“I have the polaroids to put up.” Wonwoo takes a shoebox out from under his bed and takes the lid off.

“That’s a lot…” Mingyu’s eyes widened, “Did you buy more film?”

“Uh, yeah.” He shrugs, pulling a random one out, “I like taking photos. These are mostly my classmates and professors…”

The shoebox was completely filled, with the photos neatly arranged on their side.

“Those are too many to put on the wall, Wonwoo.” Jangmi yawns, “I have practice tomorrow morning so I’ll go ahead.”

“Good night.” The boys chimed and she waves at them, exiting the room and leaving them alone.

They sat in silence as Wonwoo skims through the pictures he’s taken, with Mingyu thoughtfully looking at him.

“What are you looking at?” Wonwoo asks in a small voice, returning the polaroids back into the box. He covers it with the lid and slides it back under his bed.

“You.” Mingyu watches him take another box out from under the bed; this one was made out tin and looked like it held cookies before being recycled.

Wonwoo opens the box, the soft clang of the bottom of the box hitting the wooden floor rings through the room. Inside were photos of them on their small dates. It wasn’t close to being filled up like the other one, but it had a good number that made Mingyu feel oddly satisfied. “Why?”

“I like looking at you.”

“Take a picture,” Wonwoo finally looks at him, eyes crinkling and nose scrunching up as he laughs, “It will last longer.”

Mingyu holds out his hand almost immediately, a mischievous smile creeping on his face.

It takes a while before Wonwoo understands, confused eyes blinking up at Mingyu’s until the latter nods his head at the camera behind him.

“Now?” He stresses, “I was joking!”

“You have these pictures of us and I don’t have a single picture of you. Come on, just one.”

“I don’t have a solo photo of you.”

“Then take one! I don’t mind.” Mingyu moves forward to snatch the camera on the bed, pushing Wonwoo flush against it when he tries to avoid colliding face-first with Mingyu’s chest.

Mingyu didn’t seem to notice how flustered Wonwoo was after he sat himself back down and checked the Instax’s film. “You have 2 left. Perfect. One photo of you for me and one photo of me for you.” He turns the camera on and holds it up to his eye, “Ready?”

“What am I supposed to do?” Wonwoo laughs and tries to push away the camera but Mingyu evades his hand.

“Just smile at the camera.”

And when Wonwoo does just that, he snaps the photo.

Recovering from the blinding flash, Wonwoo repeatedly blinks his eyes and sees Mingyu already admiring the developed photo. “Your turn.” He takes the camera from him and waits for Mingyu to smile.

When the photo slides out of the camera, Wonwoo inspects it and smiles to himself. But it doesn’t last long when a questions pops in his head. He looks up at Mingyu, debating whether or not to ask him. His eyes travel across the expanse of his face; how Mingyu’s brown eyes are trained on the photo between his fingers, how he had the faintest smile on his lips, and how his overall expression was relaxed and carefree. Wonwoo wanted to touch him, but he doesn’t know why he’s scared to even do so.

“What are you looking at?” Mingyu mimics his tone from earlier, expecting Wonwoo to laugh and hit him, but was met with silence. Their eyes meet for a second before Wonwoo drops them to the box full of their photos.

“Mingyu… what are we… exactly?”

He follows Wonwoo’s gaze down to the box as well, silently reading the written captions beneath the picture.

“For a more than a month, we’ve been hanging out together… we call them dates and I, I like you—”

“And I like you.” Mingyu quietly interjects, his voice barely a whisper but the admission was loud and clear to both of them.

“—then what are we?”

Silence comes over them briefly. Mingyu’s mouth opens to answer, but closes just as quick to reformulate his answer while Wonwoo picks up a polaroid, the first one they took, and ran his forefinger against the edge repeatedly.

“We’re dating.”

“Exclusively?”

“I’d hope so.”

Wonwoo stares at him with unreadable eyes, scrutinizing his features thoroughly that made Mingyu squirm. “Do you have an ulterior motive?”

“No.” He was quick to answer.

“I mean, if you think about it, when you get sick of being with me, you can just up and leave because when I wake up the next day, I won’t even remember you.”

“Don’t say that—”

“But it’s true. You’ll get tired of it, me asking over and over again who you are and constantly reminding me who you are to me. What if one day I wake up and no matter how hard you make remember—no matter how hard I try to remember, I just can’t?”

“That won’t happen,” Mingyu sighs, “Because by the time I do get tired of you, we’ll be way in too deep into our relationship for me to even think of letting go.” He hesitantly takes Wonwoo’s free hand and holds it tightly. “Jangmi says you’re getting better and it’s probably because of me.”

“She makes sure I take my medicines and I take down a lot of notes… and—and the photos help.”

“That’s good to know.” He smiles at him and Wonwoo can feel his cheeks heating up. Embarrassed, he drops his gaze down and diverts his attention to something else: Mingyu’s lips.

His lips were full and pink, slightly parted and damp—he had probably licked them a few moments ago.

“Wonwoo…”

His eyes flutter back up to Mingyu’s and they find his staring down at his lips.

“Can… Can I just…” Mingyu stutters, hesitantly leaning forward.

“You don’t have to ask.” Wonwoo breathes, grabbing Mingyu by the collar and locking his other hand on the latter’s nape. He pulls him closer and their lips smash together.

Wonwoo’s head pulsates with pain because it felt so familiar, but even the ache couldn’t make him coil back and cringe because, one, Mingyu’s lips tasted so addictively sweet with just a hint of toothpaste mint, and two, the taller male had trapped him against the side of the bed with hands pinned on his hips.

He softly moans when Mingyu’s tongue swipes across his bottom lip and sneakily sneaks past his lips. At the contact of their tongues sliding against each other, they moan and make an effort to move themselves on the bed. As they stumble about and giggling while their mouths were connected, with Mingyu’s hands inching beneath Wonwoo’s shirt and pushing it up, they failed to hear the knock and the sound of the door opening.

“Wonwoo, it’s time for—oh my god.”

Mingyu had never jumped back from anyone, or anything, so quickly. He presses his lips together and looks everywhere but Jangmi’s amused face.

“I was, uhm,” She tries to hold her laughter in, “Your meds.” She holds up a white plastic canister in one hand and a bottle of water in the other, shaking both lightly. “You have to take them.”

“Right.” Wonwoo swallows, hoping his cheeks weren’t as red as they felt like they were burning. He stands up and takes the canister from her before she proceeds to open the water bottle for him.

The silence was awkward and Jangmi couldn’t keep the knowing grin off her face while she passed the water to Wonwoo, who throws his head back to let the pills fall down his throat and douses it with water.

“Okay. I doubt you need me, but if you do, text me or you know,” She points to the door with her thumb, “I’ll be across the hall.”

They all nod at each other for a second or two, eyes not meeting hers, until she snorts, “Good night.” Both boys looked like guilty children who had eaten all the freshly made fudge in secret but failed to wipe off the chocolate on their faces before pleading their innocence.

When Jangmi leaves with her laughter ringing just before the door closes behind her, Mingyu clears his throat.

“It’s getting late.”

“Yeah, I mean, I dragged you into helping me organize these. You must be tired.”

“Not really.” He mumbles staring at the box of photos by his feet and sees a star Wonwoo drew on one of them. “Hey, do you have anything planned next Saturday?”

Wonwoo blinks at him and frowns, “Not that I remember.”

“Oh crap, I mean, I didn’t mean to, I—”

“I’m kidding, Mingyu. I know I don’t have anything planned because I looked over my planner awhile ago before you came over.”

Mingyu grins, “In case anything comes up, reserve me for Saturday night, okay? Sounds good?”

“Yeah, okay. My Saturday night is yours.” Wonwoo blabs while he follows Mingyu out of his room.

“I can show myself out. Good night.” Mingyu leans in to peck his lips.

“I, uh, yeah, good night. Text me when you get to your dorm.” He grins and for the first time tonight, he actually enjoyed his cheeks growing warmer.

“I will.”

 

 

• • •

 

 

Wonwoo had been rummaging inside his closet for the past hour already, pulling out tops on hangers and showing them to the two girls haphazardly spread across in bed, bored out of their minds.

“Wonwoo, you look good in anything.” Jangmi groans, taking a pillow and covering her face.

“I agree!” The girl beside her chirps, offering Wonwoo two thumbs up.

“See, even Doyeon thinks so and you should trust her more than me when it comes to fashion because she’s a part time model.”

Doyeon grins at him and he returns an unsure smile. “Ooh! I liked that gray jogger and white shirt combo. You can use that,” She points to the dark gray jacket he was holding, “to cover up. And wear a beanie, I think you would look nice in a beanie.”

Wonwoo gives it a thought and brings the clothes she mentioned into the bathroom.

“You’re acting like a teenage girl!” He hears Jangmi call out after he closes the door.

How can’t he? It’s all Mingyu’s fault. It’s his fault why he made sure that no group projects will be scheduled today and that he had finished all of his homework before noon. It’s his fault why he now owes Jangmi and Doyeon ice cream for taking up their party time to help him pick out a goddamn outfit—and damn it, he does sound like a teenage girl because it’s Mingyu’s fault why he feels so giddy inside. It’s his fault why his heart is beating so fast that Wonwoo swears it could explode any second.

“Wonwoo, Mingyu just texted. He’s on his way.”

He lets out a shaky breath and looks at his reflection. The outfit was simple, and surprisingly his style. He walks out the bathroom and Doyeon whistles. Both girls were now seated on the edge of the bed and were on their phones.

“I should be a stylist, too.” She brings her phone up and quickly takes a photo.

“How about you study hard first and get a diploma before you go off thinking about all your job opportunities, Freshie?” Jangmi laughs, standing up with a black beanie in her hand. She walks over and puts the beanie on Wonwoo’s head. “There you go.” She grumbles under her breath while fixing his hair.

“You look great!” Doyeon snaps another picture of him.

A ringtone goes off and Wonwoo moves to snatch his phone from the nightstand.

I’m outside.

He puts the phone down, “I have to brush my teeth.”

Doyeon giggles and Jangmi rolls her eyes, “Hey, its 8 o’clock. You have to take your meds at 10, okay? I put a post it on the can and I’ve reminded Mingyu about it as well.”

Wonwoo scurries to his bathroom “Leave it by my phone!”

“We’ll go ahead now. Have fun.”

“You, too. Thanks.” He waves at them when they pass by the bathroom.

He mentally counted the seconds that passed by since he received Mingyu’s text and gave himself exactly 120 seconds to get ready and meet him outside. When he counted up the hundredth second, he had tripped over his own feet and lost count. With one last glance in the mirror and some minor fixing here and there, Wonwoo runs out of his room after grabbing his bag.

When he meets Mingyu, who was leaning against a maroon pick-up and texting on his phone, he stops to stare at the car.

“Oh, hey.” Mingyu looks up from his phone and places it in his pocket. “You look cute in a beanie.”

Wonwoo blushes, “Is that your car?”

“No, I swapped with Seokmin for tonight. He keeps texting me if the car is okay.”

“Are we… going out of campus?” Mingyu opens the door for him but he merely looks up at him.

“You’ll see.”

He frowns, “Can’t I get a clue?”

“It’s a place you wanted to see that you never knew you wanted to see until you see it.”

“Wait, what?” Wonwoo pauses from entering the car, but Mingyu playfully pushes him in.

“Trust me, okay? You’ll love it.” He laughs, kissing his cheek before closing the door when Wonwoo gets in.

After putting their seatbelts on, Mingyu starts the car and they drive off. It started out quiet with some random songs playing on the radio with Wonwoo gazing out the window and watching the buildings phase as they zoom past them. Wonwoo realizes that he’s never been out of the campus ever since the accident. The city lights were almost a new scene for him. Back in freshman year, before they were bombarded with stressful requirements, him and Jihoon would go out to the city and watch a movie or play around. Soonyoung and Jun would occasionally join sometimes and there were times, before the dramatic confrontation and break-up, Wonwoo had been a third wheel to Jihoon and Seungcheol.

They drove onto the highway and there was less to no traffic. The lights from the city were fading away and anxiety bubbled in Wonwoo’s gut. His fingers start shaking at the memory of the accident. This was how it started; there were fewer cars and less street lights on the highway. He gulps down the fear and controls his breathing, something Mingyu notices.

A hand wraps around Wonwoo’s and he looks at Mingyu, whose were eyes fluttering to the road and to the mirrors of the car. “Don’t worry. I’m driving as carefully as I can.”

“I—okay… okay.”

“We’re near. Give or take 10 minutes?” He flashes him a smile. To ease Wonwoo’s mind, he starts some small talk; asking about his day, if he needed help with homework, and the likes. It worked. Wonwoo eased up as he answered, especially when Mingyu laughs at a story about what happened in lab the other day. They haven’t let go of each other’s hands.

The car comes to a stop and Mingyu releases Wonwoo’s hand to turn the engine off. “We’re here.”

Wonwoo looks outside and there was nothing to see but scattered trees in the distance that were illuminated by the moon. “We’re in the middle of nowhere.”

“That’s the point.” Mingyu states as he removes his seatbelt and opens the door.

“Oh my god! You’re going to murder me!” Wonwoo exclaims and Mingyu bursts out laughing before he gets out of the car.

“No, I won’t.” He opens the door for him again and unclasps the seatbelt for him. “Come on. The weather is perfect tonight.”

“For what?! This is so sketchy, I swear to God—” Wonwoo gets cut off by Mingyu’s laugher.

“You sound like Jangmi!” Mingyu slams the door close after Wonwoo gets out and takes his hand, leading him to the back of the car.

There was a makeshift bed at the back of the car; just a pile of blankets and pillows.

“Oh my god, you’re going to fuck me and then kill me—”

Mingyu sighs and kisses him on the lips, hands holding Wonwoo’s jaw in place. He inwardly snorts at how the latter eagerly responds despite the accusations of murdering him. He pulls away and rests his forehead on Wonwoo’s. “You need to stop jumping to ridiculous conclusions and look up for me.”

When Mingyu pulls away, Wonwoo does as he was asked and he freezes.

The cloudless sky was an ebony sea with glittering pearls that were scattered about. They were so bright and big that Wonwoo thinks if he reaches out, he can easily grab a handful. The crescent moon, softly glowing along the stars, smiled down on them and it was then when he chokes with tears prickling his eyes at the scene above him.

Mingyu watches Wonwoo’s expression of awe and amazement with dilated eyes. “When you told me about the night of your accident, I just had to show you what you had missed.”

“It’s beautiful.” He says in a strangled voice, lips quivering as his emotions take over.

“All the more reason why you deserve to see it. The weather forecast says it’ll be clear skies all weekend so it’s perfect for us to stargaze.”

Wonwoo finally rips his attention away from the sky and looks into Mingyu’s eyes. There was something beneath them that made him uneasy—but in a good way. An emotion he can’t quite distinguish but it felt like he was falling in love—

He breathes in deeply and holds it in, was he…?

“Let’s lie down so we don’t have to strain our necks.” Mingyu says in a low voice. Wonwoo takes out the camera before they clamber onto the makeshift bed and lie down side to side.

“I don’t think I’d get tired of seeing this.” Wonwoo murmurs, eyes connecting the stars to each other, forming abstract shapes. He takes a picture, hoping it would come out well. He gestures to Mingyu to come closer before he points the camera at them. After recovering from the flash and putting the camera and photos aside, Wonwoo stares back up at the sky. He spells out Mingyu’s name and turns his head to face him. “Thank you.” He starts, making Mingyu turn to face him as well. “This is probably the best date I’ve ever been on.”

“You’re welcome and the same goes for me. I’ve never really exerted this much effort on a date but it’s all worth it.”

Wonwoo shakes his head, “You don’t have to.”

“But that’s the thing; I want to. I want to make you happy.” Mingyu looks back at the sky and releases a breath, “Seeing these stars with you tonight gives me hope.”

“How ironic. Those stars are dead.”

Mingyu snaps his attention back to Wonwoo with a bewildered expression.

“Shit, I’m sorry that totally ruined the moment.” Wonwoo presses his lips together but both of them still ended up laughing. “Sorry, sorry. They give you hope?”

“Yeah. Like, I hope,” Wonwoo feels Mingyu’s fingers intertwine with his, “Whatever we have isn’t just temporary… I want it to last.”

They lie in silence for a moment, gazes focused back on the sky and taking the sight in. A breeze sends a slight shiver down their spines and they instinctively huddled closer.

“Staring at the sky… it reminds me of questions. Questions that can’t be answered easily—mysteries.” Wonwoo says in a low voice.

Mingyu glances at him, briefly. “Like?”

“I-is this how the sky looked like that night?” A harsh breath escapes Wonwoo’s lips. “What would have happened if I didn’t get into an accident? That I got to my destination safely, that I graduated with my friends? What if I didn’t survive the accident? What if I didn’t get this stupid memory loss crap? There are so many what-if’s… but in the end, maybe I should be thankful for that night.” He grips Mingyu’s hand a little tighter. “Because then I wouldn’t have met you.”

They look at each other and Mingyu can see Wonwoo’s eyes getting misty.

“You’re probably the biggest mystery to me right now.”

Mingyu frowns a little and opens his mouth to reply, but Wonwoo cuts him off.

“I don’t get why you want to be with me. You’re gorgeous and you can be with whoever you want, but you chose me, the irregular psych student with a memory problem. I don’t get why you’re going extra lengths for me and what’s worse is that I don’t get why I’m letting you. I don’t get why I’m having headaches every time I look into your eyes even though I already do remember or why my chest feels tight when you touch me. I don’t get why I’m falling for you even though I know being in a relationship in my condition is going to be hard.”

“I love you.”

Wonwoo stops, mouth hanging open as the words ceased to come out and eyes wide in shock as his head registered Mingyu’s proclamation. “What?”

“The answer to why I want to be with you, why I chose you: I love you.”

“It can’t be that simple, Mingyu.”

He moves on his side and places his free hand on Wonwoo’s cheek, lightly chuckling. “If I’m a mystery to you, then you’re a mystery to me because I don’t get why I’m so head over heels in love you.”

Wonwoo lies on his side as well, “We’re two mysteries trying to solve each other.”

Mingyu smiles, his canines peeking out behind his lips.

“…do you really…” Wonwoo whispers, pupils shaking and tears blurring his vision.

“Yes, Wonwoo, I really do.” He caresses Wonwoo’s cheek with his thumb. “I love you.”

Wonwoo scoots closer, pressing his lips against Mingyu’s. There it was again, the tiny ache at the top of his head but he couldn’t care less. Mingyu kissed back, his thumb still tracing lazy circles on Wonwoo’s cheeks. When his lower lip got caught between Wonwoo’s teeth, he pulls away.

“Wait, I wasn’t planning on this.” He says, breathlessly but his voice was obviously pleased. “I don’t have anything on me.”

“It’s okay.” Wonwoo pulls him for another kiss.

“It’ll hurt you.”

“I don’t care. Mingyu, please.”

He pauses to brush the fringes off of Wonwoo’s forehead, “Okay, but we’ll go slow.”

They share another kiss, more passionate than the previous one. It was less teeth biting lips and more tongue sliding against tongue. Wonwoo’s hands coaxed Mingyu to roll on top of him while Mingyu’s hands slipped under his shirt. One by one, their clothes were stripped and gently tossed aside until they were naked and exposed to the night air. Another breeze passes by and riddled a trail of goose bumps down their bodies, but they couldn’t care less at the cold air nipping at them. Wonwoo kept Mingyu warm by smoothing his hands wherever his hands can reach and Mingyu kept Wonwoo warm by kissing whatever inch of skin he can kiss.

When they couldn’t wait anymore, Mingyu slips himself into Wonwoo, slow and gentle with the help of some spit and precum. It burned like hell but this is what Wonwoo needed; to feel Mingyu more intimately. He shuts his eyes at the first few slow thrusts, choking down moans that left his throat vibrating every time he did. Mingyu reminds him, panting at his actions, that it’s okay to be as loud as he wants. That he was the only one who’ll hear him. Once Wonwoo does, it sounded like music to Mingyu.

Wonwoo opens his eyes to see Mingyu looking down at him with the same emotion he had seen awhile back except this time, he knew what it was. Behind Mingyu, Wonwoo can see the stars shining down on them, giving them ample light to see the glow on each other’s bodies. They were making love under the stars, Wonwoo thinks, and its so cliché but they were in love and that’s all that mattered.

Mingyu lowers himself, pressing their hot, sweaty bodies together to kiss Wonwoo’s lips. He continues down to his jaw and settles his head at the junction of Wonwoo’s neck and shoulder. His thrusts were getting deeper but he had kept the slow pace he had begun with and it was enough for the both of them. Wonwoo snakes his arms around Mingyu’s shoulders, grasping tighter when he was pushed off the edge and shakes beneath the latter, which triggers Mingyu’s own climax soon after.

He pulls him down gently, cradling his body as they catch their breaths. Wonwoo stares up at the Milky Way above them; the questions he was reminded of were nothing but a fuzzy haze in his head as he fingers Mingyu’s hair. A thin streak of light passes through the sky and before he could react to it, he finds himself chanting in his head: I wish I can remember this moment. I wish I won’t forget him. Please let me remember him.

Wonwoo swallows hard, “There was a shooting star just now.”

“Did you make a wish?” Mingyu pushes himself up to rest his weight on his arms that were on either side of Wonwoo.

He looks at him thoughtfully, with the wishes he made repeating in his mind. “Yeah.”

“Whatever it was, I hope it comes true.” Mingyu lazily grins at him, kissing his forehead.

“I hope so, too.”

After cleaning themselves up, they slip back into their clothes, giggling at each other like mischievous kids hiding a secret. They lie back down, bringing one of the blankets over their bodies and huddling close together.

Wonwoo starts talking about constellations, trying to remember bits and pieces of what he'd picked up when he took up astrology as an elective, while Mingyu listens, hooked on every word uttered by the boy beside him. A time passes by, Wonwoo's words dragged on, pausing per syllable and when Mingyu peeks at him, he was starting to doze off.

“Go to sleep. I'll take a nap for a bit and I'll drive us back home.” He whispers, sliding his arm under Wonwoo and pulling him to his chest.

Somewhere in the car, an alarm goes off. It was a continuous beeping and it stirred Wonwoo awake. “Alarm.” He slurs.

“Ignore it.” Mingyu grumbles but Wonwoo starts to pull away.

“My meds, Mingyu—shit, I left them at the dorm. I can't sleep now; I'll forget you when I wake up.”

“Give me 5 minutes and then we'll go.”

Wonwoo looks at him unsurely, but Mingyu had closed his eyes and his breathing had begun to slow. Five minutes, he repeats, he can stay awake in this position for that long, right?

If you fall asleep, you'll forget.

He tries to amuse himself, to keep himself awake.

If you fall asleep, you'll forget. If you fall asleep, you'll forget.

But his eyes and body were getting heavier by the minute.

If you fall asleep, you'll forget. If you fall asleep, you'll forget. If you fall asleep, you'll forget.

He's sure that five minutes have passed already and he attempts to wake Mingyu up, but the boy was lightly snoring and he couldn't even bring himself to shake him.

If you fall asleep, you'll forget. If you fall asleep, you'll forget. If you fall asleep, you'll forget. If you fall asleep, you'll forget.

He doesn't know why but he begins to cry… No, he does know why and it's because he doesn't want to forget Mingyu. He doesn't want to forget anything Mingyu had done for him and all the memories they've made together. Mingyu loves him and he loves him back; he can't forget now because he hasn't even said those 3 words in return. But sleep was like the devil, tempting and luring him to sin.

If you fall asleep, you'll forget. If you fall asleep, you'll forget. If you fall asleep, you'll forget. If you fall asleep, you'll forget. If you fall asleep… you'll forget...

If you fall aslee—

 

 

Mingyu wakes up in a jolt, adrenaline rushing in his veins when he'd realized he had actually fallen asleep. He sees Wonwoo, seated up with his back facing him and shoulders shaking.

Oh, god.

He sits up, slowly and hesitant. It broke him to see Wonwoo crying, and who could blame him? He woke up in the middle of nowhere at the back of a pick-up with someone his mind deems as a stranger.

“Wonwoo…” He manages to say, voice still groggy and raspy.

Wonwoo twists around to face him and Mingyu sees his swollen eyes and tear stained cheeks.

He frowns, wearily raising a hand to calm him down. “Wonwoo, don't cry. It's me, Mi—”

“Mingyu. I know you. You're Mingyu.” Wonwoo cries.

He stares at him, shocked. “You… remember?”

A grin breaks out on Wonwoo's face as he nods. “I do.” He scoots closer, placing his hands on his. “I remember last night. Everything.The drive. The stars… but there's one thing I forgot.”

Wonwoo's tears haven't ceased. It caught the soft glare of the rising sun that peeked through the top of the distant trees and glittered down along his cheeks. His pupils were dilated and his irises were shaking.

“Mingyu,” the corner of his lips twitched. It really was a nice name. “I love you, too.”

 

 

With the flurry of emotions and raging hormones taking place in a span of a few minutes after they have fully awakened, they finally drive back to the campus where Mingyu drops off Wonwoo with one last smack on the lips. Wonwoo makes his way back up to his room in a day dream-like state with a lopsided grin on his face, repeating last night’s events on a loop.

It comes to a halt when his name is called out in a harsh whisper. He looks up to see Jangmi, hair unkempt and still in her pajamas.

“Where the fuck have you been?” She hisses.

“I—We fell asleep by accident and—”

“Jihoon came by late last night to surprise you but what greeted him was an empty room with your meds by your bed?! I think it would have been fine if you had brought them, but Wonwoo, he was ready to call for a search team if only there wasn’t a 24-hour missing time requirement when you file a missing person case.”

Wonwoo frowns, “Where is he now?”

“I’ve satiated him with coffee and he’s in your room—wait,” She holds up a hand and he blinks down at her. “Wonwoo…”

“Yeah?”

“What’s my name?”

“Jangmi.” He answers in a confused tone, eyebrows knitting together as he answered.

She opens her mouth but snaps it close, hesitating for a second until she asks, “Did you say you fell asleep?”

“It was an accident, I swear!” He starts to explain, “I already heard the alarm and I knew I forgot the medicine back in my room, but Mingyu fell asleep and I don’t know how to drive—”

Jangmi grabs his shoulders, effectively cutting him off. “Did you say Mingyu? Do you remember him?”

“I… I remember everything that happened last night… even after I fell asleep.” He tried to sound proud of himself, but it came out small and weak, like there was a doubt in his mind that maybe he was dreaming, that he was still asleep and tucked away into Mingyu’s arms at the back of Seokmin’s pick-up truck.

She purses her lips and lets him go. “You should explain yourself to Jihoon before he gets a heart attack.”

Out of the small group of friends he held dearly to his heart, Wonwoo can say that Jihoon was someone he can call his brother. They knew each other better than anyone else and went through almost everything together ever since they met back in the fourth grade. They were the quiet duo seated at the far end of the classroom that read books and listened to music on headsets when they had free period, rather than boisterously laugh at their classmates’ stories they didn’t even care about.

“I think I need another cup, Jang—where have you been?!” Jihoon screeches, almost flailing the empty cup at Wonwoo if Jangmi hadn’t stopped his arm. “I came to surprise you and I fell asleep waiting, but it’s like,” He glances at the wall clock, “10 am! You’ve been out for more than 12 hours and I swear I was so close to filing a missing person report. You wouldn’t answer your phone and Jangmi wouldn’t wake up for the love of—”

“I’m hungover.” She tries to butt in but Jihoon dismisses her with a flick of his wrist.

“You know you can’t go out drinking beer, sure you can party, but you need your meds, Wonwoo!” He sighs, dragging a hand through his hair.

Wonwoo hated this: feeling small when he was literally taller than Jihoon. He felt so dependent on him without even meaning to. “But… I wasn’t out drinking or partying—I was… I was on a… date.” The last word came out as a squeak.

With the way Jihoon’s eyebrows shoot up and his head shifts so that his right ear was pointing at Wonwoo, he sounded (and looked like) a father rather than a brother. “You were on a date?” Scratch that, he’s acting like a mother. “How can you go on dates unless you literally met the person the moment you woke up?”

“I’ve met him almost a month ago, Jihoon, and his name is Mingyu.”

“What kind of name is Mingyu?” He hears the shorter boy grumble and he frowns at him.

“It’s a nice name, just as he is. We’ve been going out for quite some time now.”

“Is that true?” The question was directed at Jangmi, who was caught off guard at the sudden switch of attention.

She nods, “Yeah, I mean,they have lunches and dinners together.”

Jihoon clicks his tongue and crosses his arms, “Is he trustworthy?”

“Yes!” Wonwoo answers, trying to get Jihoon’s attention back at him but the latter scowls.

“I wasn’t asking you, Wonwoo. Jangmi?”

Jangmi nods her head again, “Jihoon, I get that you’re being protective of Wonwoo, but Mingyu is genuinely interested in him—I mean, I honestly believe that Wonwoo is getting better because of him.” She gestures to the sticky notes on the wall. “He helped him with these.”

“And?”

She looks to Wonwoo for help, but he was shooting daggers at his best friend. “And… he even gave him an Instax… to take photos of people, places, and the likes to help him remember.”

Jihoon sighs, obviously unsatisfied with her answer, “Find out how much an Instax is and pay the guy back.”

“Don’t talk to her like that.” Wonwoo snaps, “Why are you acting like this?”

“I don’t trust the guy, Wonwoo. I don’t know him, sure, but it sounds sketchy that he’s so into you.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Wonwoo’s tone raises a notch higher that Jangmi winces from her spot. “It’s like your implying I’m not allowed to fall in love!”

A curt laugh bubbles from Jihoon’s throat as he covers his mouth with the back of his hand. “You’re in love? How is that even possible? How could you be in love in your condition?”

Wonwoo’s fists tighten by his hips, “I don’t know either, but it is, Jihoon. It’s possible.”

“Your memories resets every time you go to sleep. You can remember him now and maybe tomorrow, but what if you wake up one day with no memory of him whatsoever? You’ll only be hurting him because you won’t even remember what it felt like being in love with him was. If I were you, spare yourself and this guy the heartbreak and just cut it off.”

“Stop saying this guy, he has a name and it’s Mingyu! Why are you being like this?” There was a tiny prick deep inside his head, but he ignores it. “I do remember him and I will remember him. I might not remember him at first when I wake up, but it doesn’t take long to do so and my head doesn’t hurt as much when I do! Last night was the best moment of my life and that’s all thanks to him. Jihoon, I fell asleep afterwards and I still remembered it when I woke up. That’s got to be something.”

“Maybe you got lucky. Is a heart break really worth that chance, Wonwoo? Trust me, maybe you should wait until you’re all better before you go assuming you’re in love and trusting this person so much.”

Just as Jihoon turns to Jangmi, about to ask for another cup of coffee like he intended awhile back, an icy jab hits the middle of Wonwoo’s head, making him lurch forward and cry out, “You’re acting like this because you’re jealous!”

They look at him in surprise.

“Excuse me?” Jihoon tries to laugh, but something in his tone tells Jangmi that Wonwoo may be right.

Wonwoo’s eyes were screwed tight and his curled up fists had his knuckles turning white as an old memory resurfaces in his mind. Flashes of nights Jihoon arguing with Seungcheol, Jihoon ranting to him, He, Jihoon, and Jangmi scheming, the night they had confronted Seungcheol, all of those memories came rushing back at him like they had happened only yesterday, but he knows it was barely a year ago.

“Something happened for you to lose your complete trust in Seungcheol… so you hired Jangmi to seduce him… and you were right to doubt Seungcheol because he’d been sleeping with—”

“Shut up!” Jihoon yells; face contorted into an angry scowl. His breathing was loud and deep with eyes boring into Wonwoo’s. “Out of all the memories you can remember, it had to be that one.”

“Mingyu and Seungcheol are two different people, Jihoon.  You can’t assume that he’s going to cheat—”

“Stop.” Jihoon makes a move to walk out of the room, but he pauses when Wonwoo continues.

“—Why can’t you be happy that your best friend, despite his condition, is actually in love and happy after a long time?”

Jihoon stays quiet for awhile, not moving in his spot. He glances at Jangmi, who casted her attention to the floor with a guilty expression. “I just don’t want you to experience the pain I had to go through.” He finally turns to face Wonwoo. “We talk every day, Wonwoo. Not once did you mention this guy to me while I’m blabbering about what has been happening in my life with no assurance you would even remember a single one. Do you know why I even came to surprise you last night? An entertainment company hired me as an assistant producer the yesterday and I decided to tell you because you’re my best friend. It’s not about me being jealous, Wonwoo. I’ve been with you since the fourth grade. You know me more than I know myself because we tell each other everything. When you got into that accident and the doctors said there was a chance you’d get amnesia, I was scared that maybe you’d forget me, but when you woke up and recognized me… it felt like a breath of fresh air.” Jihoon swallows hard, eyes glazed over. “So finding out that you’ve been seeing someone... for quite some time now… it makes me feel… forgotten.”

“Jihoon…” Wonwoo’s voice cracks.

“I start work in a few hours. I need to go back home and get ready.” All the emotion on Jihoon’s face was wiped away in a blink. “Thanks for the coffee, Jangmi. I’ll see myself out.”

 

 

Wonwoo had been crying nonstop when Jihoon had walked out of his dorm room and that was three hours ago. Jangmi had comforted him, tucking him into bed and cuddling him, even going as far as skipping out cheer practice to keep him company.

He hasn’t said a word either, making it difficult for Jangmi to know how to solve the problem.

“Wonwoo, have you eaten anything? Do you want rice cakes? Kimbap?Ramen?” Jangmi whispers, lightly nudging the boy.

He shakes his head. His eyes were dried and red but his nose was still stuffed. He mumbles something from under the blanket and she gives him an unsure smile.

“What was that?”

“I want to go to sleep.” Wonwoo quietly says after pulling the blanket down under his chin. “I want to go to sleep and forget what had just happened.”

She nods, sighing as she sits up and throws her feet over the edge of the bed. “I understand why, but you still need to eat and take your medicine. I hate to say it now, but what if Jihoon was right? What if it was a lapse in how your memories were stored? We can’t say anything for sure, Wonwoo.” She places a hand over his. “Stay awake for a little while longer, okay? Food is on the way. I’ll put away your things for you.”

“Thank you, Jang.” He grabs her hand before she pulls away. “Also… I’m sorry for bringing up the incident with Seungcheol.”

“It’s okay.” She gets up and walks over to his backpack, sulking and forgotten by the door ever since Wonwoo had stepped inside.

“Did you ever regret… getting into that mess?”

Jangmi pauses, crouched low to get his bag. Her arm suspended in mid-air while nimble fingers loosely held the straps of the knapsack. Wonwoo could see the void of emotion on her face, until her eyebrows furrowed ever so slightly before she looks at him with a straight face. “If I hadn't done it, then Jihoon might have never found out about what Seungcheol had been doing.”

“Wouldn't Jihoon have asked some other girl?” Wonwoo blinks, “Another guy?”

“I don't know, maybe?” She grabs the bag and walks back to the bed, sitting on the edge. “I’m a cheerleader, Seungcheol was MVP of the basketball team, and it’s cliché, but maybe Jihoon thought he would fall for me... and he was right.”

“But did you fall for him?” The question slipped past his lips before he could think twice about asking. There was a sudden shift in the air and corners of Jangmi’s lips twitched. “I'm sor—”

A knock on the cuts him off.

“Food’s here. I'll be in my room if you need me.” Jangmi stands up and leaves his bag by her feet before walking to the door.

“Y-you won't eat with me?”

“I'll get the delivery guy to do that.” She smirks, opening the door wide and revealing Mingyu holding a tote bag in his hands. “Meds then sleep, okay?” She whispers to him as she passes by.

He nods, “Are you sure you don’t want to eat with us?”

Jangmi had already reached her room’s door when she had answered him: a curt shake of her head and a forced smile on her lips. She waves him goodbye and enters her room.

“Mingyu?” Wonwoo sits up, wiping his eyes and cheeks with the back of his hands. “What are you doing here?”

He closes the door behind him and removes his shoes. “Jangmi texted me and asked to buy you food. I was cooking for my roommate when I got the text so I made extra for you instead. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, of course. I didn't know Jangmi had…” His voice trails off when he realizes that when she had pressed herself to his side and checked her phone from time to time, he had assumed she was texting Doyeon.

“She told me what happened, a bit of it.” Mingyu sets the bag on the table and took out a lunch box. “I'm sorry, Wonwoo.”

“None of it is your fault. It's all on me for not telling Jihoon.”

“You talk about him from time to time; I should have at least been interested in knowing a thing or two about your best friend.” He plops himself on the bed and presents the lunch he had made. Packed into the rectangular box were neatly sliced kimbap and a serving each of japchae and kimchi.

Wonwoo's eyes widen at the sight of the food. “You made this?”

“Yeah, my mom taught me how to cook and I liked doing it ever since. Minghao, my roommate, makes me cook for him because he's been dead tired from his practicum the past weeks.” Mingyu hands him a pair of chopsticks. “Eat.”

“I can't finish this.”

“Then eat whatever you can. I was told to feed you food and make you take your medicine before going to sleep.”

He eats a slice of kimbap and moans, “This is delicious!”

“Thanks.”

Wonwoo takes a piece and holds it up to Mingyu’s lips, who graciously accepted it. Until they emptied the lunch box to the tiniest speck of rice, Wonwoo would have one bite and then feed another to Mingyu. While Mingyu cleans up, Wonwoo reaches over his nightstand to retrieve his medicine and a bottle of water Jangmi had left. When he was done drinking them, Mingyu was back at his side.

“Eat, check. Meds, check. Now all that’s left on my for Wonwoo To-Do list is to put you to sleep.”

“You can do me instead.”

This makes Mingyu laugh with his tanned cheeks glowing red, “As much as I’d want to, I have to prepare for my final thesis exhibit. Go to sleep.”

“But I literally just ate and it’s not a good thing to go to sleep on a full stomach. Tell me about this thesis exhibit.” He lies down and pulls the blanket over his body.

“What is this? Your bedtime story?” Mingyu chuckles, but stops when Wonwoo answers with a stern, ‘Yes’. “Well, uhm, it’s a photo exhibit. I don’t know who to use as a muse yet, but the exhibit is about telling someone’s story. A visual biography, I guess? But my professor said it would be better to feature the highlight of the person’s life instead.”

Wonwoo hums, “That sounds more fun than writing a 70-page thesis paper about memory process.”

“Is that your thesis?”

“Before, yeah. Now, I’m not sure. Something about color psychology, I think. I feel like Jangmi’s doing all the work behind my back.” He sighs, “Funny, right? I was working on how memories were processed and stored in the brain like an organized system before my own brain went haywire and lost memories that were supposed to be stored away for recall.”

Mingyu nods, “If… if you hadn’t been in the accident and graduated last year, where do you think you’d be right now?”

“Honestly, I don’t know.”

“Haven’t thought about it?”

“Don’t know about that, too.” Wonwoo laughs, but it dies down quickly. “Maybe I would have taken the exam and be a licensed psychologist? Or like, be a therapist or something. I don’t know, sometimes I don’t like to think about the future.”

The seated boy looks down on him with a quirked brow, “Why not?”

“It’s so,” He presses his lips together, “Uncertain? I don’t know what I want in the future.”

“That’s impossible, there’s gotta be something you want to happen in the future.” Mingyu shakes his head. “Like the basic dreams, a nice job? Get married? Kids?”

“That does sound nice… will you be with me?”

Blood rushes to Mingyu’s cheeks as he stutters, “We can’t make kids, though.”

Wonwoo laughs, eyes crinkling at what he had blurted out. “I know that, but we can either adopt or look for someone who can be egg cell donor or something. Maybe Jangmi would agree if we asked.”

Mingyu can’t put his mind around the thought of Jangmi being a mother and on any other day, he would say it sounded absurd that someone so brash and carefree be a mother. But this wasn’t any other day. This was the day after the best night of his life, where he had made love for the first time to someone he truly, painfully did love. This was the day he had realized that he doesn’t have to hope for Wonwoo to want and dream the same things because Wonwoo already does.

He can imagine it already. Stressed in the office because of deadlines and paper works; but then he’ll see the ring on his left hand and know everything will be okay because when he comes home, he’ll be greeted by the kids—a boy and a girl—one that looked like him and one that looked like Wonwoo, who would come to kiss the stress away after their kids scurry back off to their games. It was an impulsive fantasy, nothing but a daydream that had invaded his consciousness and played out in seconds. Mingyu looks back at Wonwoo, eyes weary but smiling. “Maybe, if we ask nicely enough.”

Wonwoo yawns, “Thank you for the food.”

“I’ll cook us a homemade 3-course meal when school isn’t such a bitch.”

“That sounds nice.” He yawns once more.

“See you tomorrow.” Mingyu kisses his forehead and stands up, taking his bag and making his way to the door. He glances back and sees Wonwoo turn on his side to face the wall.

When he goes out of Wonwoo’s room, Jangmi exits hers at the same time.

“Oh, you’re going?” She looks up at him and he can see how slightly bloodshot her eyes were. Her voice was low and hoarse.

“Yeah, he’s asleep after taking his meds.”

She nods her head, “That’s great. Thanks. I was just about to head out and buy an early dinner.”

Mingyu remembers the extra lunch box in his tote bag and takes it out. “I made a lot because I thought we were eating together. Here, take it.” He pushes it into her hands and she briefly smiles at him.

“Thank you…”

“Jangmi.” When she looks up at him, an eyebrow arched in question, he hesitates. They’re not close enough for what he was about to ask and they don’t really talk unless it was about Wonwoo. “Never mind. I hope you like that. I’ll go now.”

 

 

Everything went back to normal the next day, and by normal, it meant Wonwoo took a while to recall Mingyu. Nevertheless, he would still remember him and be reminded of the fact that they are a couple that are very much in love. Mingyu notices that Wonwoo doesn’t have phone calls anymore and he later on finds out from Jangmi that Wonwoo had forgotten about the argument between him and Jihoon but remembered that his best friend was working and currently busy because of it.

“Shouldn’t you at least tell him the truth? The whole truth?”

“The thing about how Wonwoo’s brain stores memories is that when one memory is bad, as in really, really bad, it automatically stores it away. If he does remember this bad memory,” She frowns, “It’s like his brain has a system purge and almost everything resets back to day 1: the day he woke up after the accident.”

Wonwoo was looking for the books they needed for their thesis while Jangmi checks his grammar on what he had just written. Mingyu quietly sat himself on their table, promising (mostly to Jangmi) that he won’t be a bother and just wanted to get his own thesis done.

“What do you mean?” Mingyu looks up from browsing through the photos saved on his DSLR camera.

“His father passed away a couple of months after he recovered from the accident.” Jangmi whispers, “Wonwoo loved his father and could you imagine how it felt like when he received the news of his father’s death?”

He nods slowly.

“Now imagine it thrice in a row, because that’s what Wonwoo had to go through. Finding out about the death, explaining what had happened, attending the wake—for three consecutive days. After the burial was the worst, Wonwoo could only remember everything prior to the accident. Jihoon had to take away Wonwoo’s family ring so he wouldn’t be reminded of his father.”

“Are you telling me that Wonwoo is living right now under the presumption his father is still alive?”

“He assumes his parents are busy abroad. Jihoon said that when Wonwoo is better, he’ll tell him. We’ll explain everything while you hold him.”

That makes his lips curl ever so slightly. “I like that last part.”

“Well, I can’t deny it.” Jangmi shrugs her shoulders. “He’s different after he met you, like, you know, in a good way. I personally still believe that you play a monumental role in this road to recovery thing.”

“Thanks… I guess?”

“No, thank you, because you are making my life easier as his personal nurse and therapist.”

He chuckles, “How did that happen, by the way? How’d you become his nurse?”

“That,” She dismisses, “Is a different story. A long, long story.” She pauses, shifting her attention away from the laptop screen to him. “Which reminds me… you and Wonwoo… did you guys meet at Hansol’s party?”

“Yeah, why?”

Her mouth drops a little and she smiles, “Because I—”

“Found the books, at last.” Wonwoo appears behind her and drops the stack of books on the table. “I don’t know what I was thinking when I enrolled into Psychology.”

And just like that, Jangmi forgets to complete her sentence that Mingyu was waiting for her to finish. But even his attention was taken away by Wonwoo, who had his reading glasses on and looked so cute with them. He watches them work and snaps photos, and before Jangmi can bark at him for doing so, he reasons out that he could use them for his exhibit.

He watches them, bored out of his mind, but it wasn’t like he had any other place to be at. Eventually, he takes out his phone and opens up his thesis notes. Mingyu glances at Wonwoo and then at his camera, before ultimately deciding on the idea haunting him.

 

 

“Can you be my muse for my thesis?” Mingyu suddenly asks while he was in the middle of straddling Wonwoo’s hips.

The older looks at him, giggling while sliding his hands up Mingyu’s thighs. “What?”

A smirk grows on Mingyu’s face as he leans to the side and grabs his camera from his bag on the floor. He takes off the lens cap and turns it on, pointing it at Wonwoo, who bites his lip before Mingyu takes a photo. “My thesis is a photo exhibit that tells the highlight of someone’s life.” He explains, assuming Wonwoo had forgotten about it.

“Oh, I know. I mean, what about my life? The short term memory loss thing? Because that would cool and I’d be fine with it.” His hands slide over Mingyu’s boner, making the younger release a shaky chuckle.

“Really?” He keeps taking pictures of the boy under him. There was something completely erotic with how the camera captured stills of Wonwoo’s plump lower lip still caught between his own teeth, or how his nimble, bony fingers skimmed the expanse of his jean clad thighs, or how Wonwoo’s mouth drops a little when he palms him and feels just how hard he was.

He pops the button of Mingyu’s pants and teasingly zips it down in a slow manner. “Put your camera away and get mine.”

Mingyu swallows hard as he obeys and after a few shifting here and there, his back was against the headboard and Wonwoo’s hands were freeing his erection. He sighs at the contact of Wonwoo’s soft hands around him. “That feels nice.”

“I can think of a few more ways to make it feel even nicer.” Wonwoo mumbles in a husky voice before slipping Mingyu’s shaft past his lips.

A contented sigh leaves Mingyu as he relishes the warm and wet sensation of Wonwoo’s mouth. He combs his left hand over his hyung’s hair, dragging it back while taking a photo with the Instax. After the first film comes out, he puts it away and prepares to take another one. Just as he was about to, Wonwoo looks through his eyelashes and hollows out his cheeks. Mingyu curses as his hips involuntarily bucks forward and his finger presses down the shutter release. Before the film develops, Mingyu is already putting the camera away and taking over the situation.

 

 

“I don't know you.”

Mingyu tries to laugh, but he scoffs in disbelief. Did he hear him right? In front of him, Wonwoo was scowling at him, visibly irritated, with a girl clutching on his shirt and equally irritated as him.

“Wait, what?”

“Do you mind, bro?” He cocks his head to the girl.

It's been three days since they had last seen each other but they had talked the previous day before Mingyu’s phone had drained its battery and cut off the call. Deadlines of thesis were only days away and every senior was on their wits end trying to polish their finals into perfection. Mingyu and Wonwoo hated it but they didn't have time for each other, instead they had promised to celebrate the end of their exams together. Wonwoo had even written it down and photographed it for evidence, much to Mingyu’s amusement. 

But now he stood in front of the same boy that had excitedly written the promise of a celebration together—anotherdate to be captured on a polaroid—whojust minutes before had Mingyu ignored because it wasn't his business with whatever was happening between a boy who had his tongue down a girl's throat in the hallway connecting the kitchen and the living room. He had only realized that the boy was Wonwoo when he heard him ask her if they wanted to take this elsewhere.

“Yes, I do mind, because I'm your boyfriend.” He says in exasperation. “We've been dating for 5 months now.”

There was a flash of panic in Wonwoo's eyes. “Uhm, I'm not gay.” He gestured to the girl, “If it's not obvious enough for you. Maybe you’ve mistaken me for someone else. There are like three other guys wearing the same sweatshirt as me with black hair in this party.”

The said party was hosted by cheer squad, a late celebration for winning championship at an intercollegiate cheering competition before the finals began. Jangmi had nagged both their ears off to at least attend the party since they had missed the actual competition.

Mingyu might have had three bottles of beer and God knows how many shots of vodka, but he had no doubt in his mind that the boy in front of him was Wonwoo. The room might be spinning and the girl’s face might be a little blurry but Wonwoo’s features were just as sharp when Mingyu would look at him on any other sober day. Wonwoo was dishevelled, hair ruffed up and clothes creased. His eyes were red, too.

“I’m not wrong; you’re Jeon Wonwoo and I’m your boyfriend, Kim Mingyu.” He says in a more possessive tone with a matching glare that cuts through the girl, pathetically clinging onto Wonwoo.

“Nice name.” Wonwoo says and Mingyu relaxes a bit, “But I’m still not gay and I’m very much single.”

“Not for long.” The girl giggles, all high pitched and nasally that it actually gave Mingyu a headache.

“Fuck off, bitch.” He snarls, stepping forward in a menacing way.

Wonwoo puts a hand on his chest to stop him. “Hey, don’t talk to her like that! Dude, you’re probably wasted, but I’m not your boyfriend.”

“You’re just as drunk as I am, and I am your boyfriend.” Mingyu grabs his shoulder.

He shakes him off, harshly, “Let go of me! What the hell is your problem?!”

Mingyu laughs, loudly and curtly. “My problem? My problem is that my boyfriend, who suffers short term memory loss… who used to suffer from short term memory loss can’t remember his boyfriend because he’s too drunk and stubborn to let him explain—”

“—And there’s no need to explain because it’s not true.” Wonwoo takes the girl by her hand and starts to walk away but Mingyu grabs his shoulder. Agitated, Wonwoo turns on his heels and pushes him away with all his strength. “Seriously, stop! This isn’t funny anymore! Leave us alone.”

“Let me fucking explain! Let’s at least look for Jangmi so she could fucking calm you down.”

“Who?”

That question alone made Mingyu realize, despite how drunk he was, that something terrible had gone wrong for Wonwoo to even forget Jangmi.

“Ugh, whatever. I’m done here. Hope to see you both never.” The girl groans and walks away with a flip of her high ponytail.

“Hey, wait—” When Wonwoo sees her disappear around the corner, he scowls at Mingyu, “Seriously, dude? You suck.”

“We both do. We take turns every night.”

Wonwoo’s cheeks flushes, both from embarrassment and aggravation. “Shut up! I don't know what you're even talking about.”

“Yes, you do. You just don’t remember.” He drags two hands over his face. “Can we go somewhere to talk about this? Or, like, let’s find Jangmi, she’ll know what to do.”

“No, man, you’re making my night shittier by the minute.” Wonwoo was about to leave again and the next thing Mingyu does was the first idea that popped into his head.

It takes seconds for Wonwoo to melt into his kiss—usually. This time, Wonwoo pushes him off and makes a sound of disgust. “What the fuck?!How many times will I tell you that I’m not gay?!”

“And how many times do I have to tell you that you are?! I told you, I know you. I’m your boyfriend of 5 months. We were talking on the phone yesterday! Go check!”

“No. This should be considered as harassment. You keep telling me I’m gay and that I know you, but I really, really don’t. All you’re giving me is a headache!”

“You have a headache because your mind is trying to remember me. This always happens, trust me.” Mingyu was getting desperate every second. This isn’t happening. This is all just a bad dream, a horrible, surreal nightmare he’s experiencing. He has a strong urge to pinch himself so he could wake up.

“I don’t! I don’t trust you. Just because you know my name, doesn’t mean you know me.”

Mingyu’s expression darkens. He might be desperate but this was exhausting him and the fact that his body was still buzzing with alcohol didn’t help. “You’re Jeon Wonwoo, born Wednesday, July 17, 1996. You love cheeseburgers and you hate seafood. You like tea instead of coffee, cats over dogs, and books over people.”

Wonwoo blinks, icy pricks began to tickle his brain with every word the boy who claims to know him—tobe his boyfriend. Everything he has said is true and it makes Wonwoo doubt himself, maybe he should give this guy a chance to explain.

“We usually switch but most of the time you just beg to be a bottom.”

Mingyu didn’t know Wonwoo had it in him to throw a punch strong enough to make him stumble back. Hell, the blow on his jaw felt like it dislocated it. He looks at Wonwoo, red-faced and nose flaring. Mingyu had crossed the line without knowing and now he’s embarrassed Wonwoo.

For Wonwoo, it was reflex. Even he was surprised he had the strength to do that in his drunk and probably high state.

“Can’t handle the truth?” Mingyu smirked while rubbing his jaw. He couldn’t stop himself from speaking, it was probably the alcohol. Maybe it was the frustration Wonwoo had built up with how stubborn he was. “When we first slept together, you friggin’ begged me to wreck you.”

Wonwoo throws another punch and Mingyu grabs his sweatshirt’s collar on impulse.

“Shut the fuck up.” Wonwoo hisses, pushing Mingyu away but the latter holds on.

“What is going on here? Mingyu?Wonwoo?” It was Doyeon, confused at the scene in front of her. “What’s happening?”

But Wonwoo doesn’t remember her, so he glares back at Mingyu. “If you really are my boyfriend, then I’m fucking breaking up with you.”

In a snap, the blood drained from Mingyu’s face and his grip on Wonwoo’s loosens. “What?”

Wonwoo pushes him off, “Was I even in my right mind to fall for someone like you? You sound and act too possessive and commanding. You’re embarrassing me with what should be kept in the bedroom! If everything you claimed is true, then we’re through.”

“Wonwoo, wait,”

“I already hate you before I can even remember loving you.”

And that was all it took for Mingyu to realize that he was exhausted: physically, emotionally, and mentally. He can’t fathom the situation anymore to think of a plausible solution. Wonwoo obviously doesn’t look like he’s going relent. “Is that what you want? To break up? To completely forget about us? About me?” His voice was low and shaky, almost choking them out.

Wonwoo glared up at him with determination and Mingyu had his answer.

“Okay.” Mingyu nods. His throat was itchy and his eyes were burning, fighting off the tears welling up. He makes a move to leave but Doyeon finally speaks up from her spot.

“Mingyu, wait, I don’t know what’s happening, but Jangmi’s just outside—”

“Just take care of him until she finds him.”

 

 

When Jangmi had entrusted an emergency duplicate key of Wonwoo’ room to Mingyu, he didn’t think the first (and last) time he’d use it was for this. The room was illuminated by the moon through the window and the hallway light spilling in from the door he didn’t bother to close. He didn’t plan on staying long.

His eyes stray to the post-it wall they had arranged together, searching carefully for his own name and number. He spots it, not on the wall, but on the surface of the nightstand. A bitter smile finds it way on Mingyu’s lips with the possible reasons why his post-it was there. He takes it off and crumples it, tucking it into his pocket.

Wonwoo wanted to forget him so Mingyu had to erase himself for him.

He crouches down and takes out the cookie tin where he knows their pictures were hidden. Opening it, he checks the photos just to make sure, but doesn’t want to sort through them for long.

“What are you doing?” A voice gasped behind him, making him jump and cause some of the polaroids to fall out of the tin.

Behind him, Jangmi was gasping for air with sweat dripping down the side of her face.

He swallows hard but quickly picks up the photos and throws them into the tin.

“Mingyu, answer me. I didn’t run all the way from the outskirts of the campus to watch you do this. Doyeon told me what happened—well, what she had witnessed; I need your side of the story.”

“Wonwoo forgot.”

“He always does.”

“And that’s it.” Mingyu closes the cookie tin a little too harshly, “He always forgets and this time, he’s even forgotten you. It hurts, you know? To be forgotten.”

“But he’ll remember.” Jangmi argues.

“And if he doesn’t?” Mingyu stands up, “I’m drunk and I’m tired. I don’t want to do this, but—”

She takes a step forward and throws her hands up, “Then don’t! We’re all drunk, Mingyu, and no one’s thinking in their right state of mind. I don’t know what happened to Wonwoo, but going as far as breaking up? He loves you!”

“He hates me right now and I can’t convince him otherwise. I’m exhausted, Jang. Bye.”

When he had passed by her, she grabs his arm. “Mingyu, don’t do this. This is irrational.”

He breaks free from her hold and grips the tin in his hand a little tighter. “Why do you care so much, huh? Why can’t you stay out of this?”

“Because I care for Wonwoo just as much as you do and love him just as much as Jihoon does! I promised to protect him and I’m not going to let the best thing that’s ever happened to him be taken away from him.” Jangmi breathes in deeply, “Mingyu, I am a firsthand witness to what happened to both of you. That night you and Wonwoo first met? He was in that party with me. I lost sight of him and when I did, you guys were talking. At another party, I caught him looking at you after you had left him with Jun. I used all my connections in this university just to know your name so when he had asked me what it was in the library, I would know what to answer him. Mingyu, he loves your name and he loves you.”

Mingyu doesn’t know how to react to what Jangmi was revealing to him. He sympathetically watches tears roll down her cheeks.

“What am I going to do when he asks about you? When he remembers you? Am I just supposed to drop the fact that you guys broke up when both of you were drunk? It’ll break his heart, Mingyu, and I can’t just pick up the pieces for you.”

He releases a breath, “I’m sorry, Jangmi, to put you in that position. You’re smart, and like you said, you love and care for Wonwoo, and that’s enough for him… I, uhm… See you aroun— ” He presses his lips together and shakes his head. “I mean, good bye.”

 

 

Jangmi had returned to the party, ignoring the people who greeted her as she passed by. Her body was on the verge of collapsing but her night was far from over.

“Jang,” Doyeon walks up to her and puts a hand on her shoulder. “I’ve had some of the girls to help me ask around. Some douchebag snuck in a joint and some say they saw Wonwoo take a hit when it was passed around earlier.”

Her eyebrows scrunch up in frustration, “That sheds a little more light on the problem. Thanks, Doyeon.”

“No problem. He’s out back.”

“Okay, thanks.” She weaves through the bodies dancing to the music until she finds the way out to the garden. It’s hard not to spot Wonwoo regardless of how dark it was outside. He was lying down on a lounge chair by a deflated plastic pool. She thought he had fallen asleep but when she had approached him, his eyes were watching the sky.

She looks up to see nothing but the dark abyss of the night sky with a lone waning moon. “What are you looking at?”

“I’m looking for stars.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. I feel like it.”

Jangmi nods her head, “Can I sit with you?”

“Go ahead.” He gestures to the empty lounge chair by his. When she had taken her seat, he introduces himself. “I’m Wonwoo.”

She frowns at him, “I’m Jangmi.”

“That’s a pretty name.”

“Thanks… you know, there’s this name and I think it sounds nice.”

“Yeah? What is it?”

She bites her lips and looks him in the eyes, “Mingyu.”

There was a long pause between them and every second was filled with the muted sounds of the party inside the house and the crickets chirping around them. Jangmi had a death grip on her knees that was bound to leave 5 angry, red, crescent-shaped scars on each of them as she waited for Wonwoo to speak.

“Mingyu?” He finally repeats and she nods, still waiting.

“Yeah. What do you think?”

“That’s a nice name.”

 

 

• P R E S E N T •

 

 

Mingyu wasn’t late but that didn’t stop Minghao from nagging his ear off while they helped each other set up for the Children’s art exhibit. He tuned out his angry Chinese friend and quietly placed the paint palettes on the art tables for the children.

“Do you still remember Wonwoo, Hao?” He asks when the other had finally stopped scolding him.

“Uhm… yeah.” Minghao answers after a while. “From college?”

“Yeah.” After Mingyu puts a paint brush on each table, he sits on one and runs a hand down his face. “I saw him awhile ago… at the café where I got coffee from.”

“How is he? Did he—”

“No, I didn’t talk to him. He didn’t…” Mingyu pauses, “He doesn’t remember.”

Minghao frowns, sympathetic at first, until he walks over and flicks Mingyu’s forehead. Ignoring his friend’s yelp, he places both hands on his hips and breathes in, “What do you expect would happen, huh? You burned every, single evidence he had of your relationship with him. You avoided him like the bubonic plague even though he was, like, 50 feet away and wasn’t even going to your direction. You almost raised a fist at the girl he’s close with because she kept pestering you about the break up.”

He scoffs, “Have you even met Jangmi? She’s not as nice as her name is.”

The Chinese man shrugs his shoulders almost a little too nonchalantly to be actually casual. “Hey, the children’s math class ends in a while and they’ll be having art time,” He gestures around the room they’ve set up, “For the rest of the day. So, suck it up, Mingyu. We can talk about it later.”

Mingyu shakes it off—the thoughts about Wonwoo, the night they met, their dates, the break-up—everything. Minghao is right. It was his own fault why Wonwoo doesn’t remember him.

The art exhibit was a success, Mingyu thinks. His little lecture about art went okay although the kids were distracted by the actual exhibit. The kids enjoyed seeing his and his colleagues’ artworks and were inspired to make their own. The only downside of the entire thing was the mess at the art table. Paint had spilled on the table and smeared onto the children’s skin and clothing, but overall, everyone was having fun.

Mingyu was going around, hovering over the children’s tables to see what they were painting, helping some out, and constantly complimenting each kid’s work. He stopped at one little boy, who looked like he had given up at the flower he made.

“That’s a pretty flower you made there.” He kneels beside the kid’s chair.

“It’s supposed to be a rose.” The boy mumbles, picking at the dry paint on his thumb.

“Do you like roses?”

“My mom does. My dad gets her 5,” He raises his paint covered hand up, fingers spread apart, “Roses every week. Mommy would roll her eyes at daddy because daddy once told me it was a joke.” He looks back down at his work. “I wanted to paint 5 roses for my mommy.”

Mingyu looks at him thoughtfully. He had jet black hair that had fringes that fell just above his narrow eyes. “What’s your name?”

The boy bashfully smiles at him, “Gyu.”

“Oh, like me? My name is Mingyu.” He points to his nametag. “That must mean you could be good at drawing, too. Here, I’ll show you how to draw a simple rose.”

He moves Gyu’s previous artwork to the side and grabs a new piece of paper. “First, you draw a circle. It doesn’t have to be a perfect circle, okay? Then you draw lines inside it, over and over again until,” He puts the pencil down, “Tada~! A rose.Easy, right? Can you try?”

“I guess.” Gyu picks up the pencil he had used and copied him, drawing a slightly messy version of the one he had previously drawn.

“There you go! And then you just paint over them the same way you drew them.”

Gyu smiles up at him, cheekily and bashful, with his eyes turning into thin crescents. It looked painfully familiar but Mingyu ignores it, excusing his run-in with Wonwoo for the thoughts. “Thank you, Mr. Kim.”

He pats the boy’s head and watches him work for awhile before moving on with the rest of the kids.

The day had ended sooner than he expected and the kids were reluctant to go home, but all were excited to show their parents what they’ve made. One by one, the kids were picked up by their families by the minute, while Mingyu packed up the exhibit. He volunteered to help the janitor clean up the mess they had made and in two hours, the room was as spotless.

Lugging the canvases with one hand, Mingyu uses the other to push open the doors to let himself out. The sky was a baby blue, not a single spot of ivory cotton clouds anywhere. He breathes in deep, feeling the exhaustion of the day seep into his system.

Just as he was about to step down the small stairs, his eyes fell on Gyu, seated at the top step with his skinny arms hugging the painting he had made and the Captain America shield backpack by his side.

“Gyu? What are you still doing here?”

“Hi, Mr. Kim.”Gyu stands up and formally bows. “My parents aren’t here yet.”

“Would you know where they are?”

“They came from the hospital. Daddy had his monthly check up.”

Mingyu sets the canvases aside, letting it rest against the wall by the door and sits beside Gyu. “Well, I’ll stay here until they pick you up. Is your dad sick?”

Gyu sits back down and shakes his head, “Mommy said that he’s not exactly sick. I don’t know what she means by that, but she drives daddy to the hospital for check-ups because he used to be really sick. She also said not to worry because daddy is getting better.”

He doesn’t know why, but a great sense of relief washes over him. “That’s good to know. So, how did you like art time?”

“I love it! When I draw back at home, daddy would always say I got it from mommy.”

“You really love your parents, don’t you?” Mingyu soothes Gyu’s hair down.

Gyu launches into a full blown speech about his parents and all the times they went out to play. Mingyu was amused at how four-dimensional this 5 or 6 year old was while he tells his story, listening to every word the kid tells him. It made him want a kid of his own. Gyu began telling him how his dad would take his mom out to surprise dates without him and leave him with his uncles.

“And mommy would tell daddy, ‘stop taking me out on dates, we’re past that.’” Gyu stands up, putting his hands on his waist, and raising the pitch of his voice. Mingyu laughs at the impression of Gyu’s mother. “And then daddy would bring out the 5 roses I told you about earlier, do you remember?”

“Yes, I remember.” He grins at him.

“And then, and then, mommy would roll her eyes, like I told you,” Gyu proceeds to imitate his mom, eliciting another laugh from Mingyu “And then she’ll say, ‘Wonwoo, I swear to god!’”

Mingyu’s laugh abruptly stops and his smile drops. “What did you say?”

Gyu slaps his hands over his mouth, eyes wide and fearful. Just like Mingyu’s. “I wasn’t supposed to say that. Don’t tell mommy I said that!”

“No, Gyu, I mean, Yes, I won’t tell her. But—but, what did you say your dad’s name was?”

A car honks as it rolls up in front of the building. The window rolls down and a woman, with black hair pulled into a half-ponytail, grins at Gyu.

“Mommy!” He enthusiastically waves at her.

Her eyes switch up to Mingyu and they widen a fracture, her grin slowly fading as her jaw drops. It was then when he recognized her. She looks a little tired, but still the same from the last time they had met—the night after graduation; where they had a heated argument about Wonwoo. It was probably the only moment they had such a long exchange of words without Wonwoo present.

The passenger door opens and Jangmi’s eyes widened just a bit more as she snaps her head to her right and back at him.

But Mingyu’s attention wasn’t on her anymore.

It felt like all the blood in his body ran cold and numbed him into a frozen, shocked state. There was no mistaking who the man that came out of the passenger’s side was; the man that greeted the giddy boy beside Mingyu with such a wide grin while his son came running into his arms. There was no mistaking who he was because after all these years, he was still so goddamned and painstakingly beautiful that it sent the heavy weight of regrets and remorse crushing down onto his chest that it made it harder to breathe.

“Daddy, Mr. Kim taught us how to paint today.” He can barely register Gyu’s words until Wonwoo’s eyes look up at him and unlike Jangmi… like the many times they had ran into each other in college, recognition was nowhere in his eyes. “And guess what! We have the same name, too!”

“Is that so? Then both of you must have pretty names, right? Good afternoon, I’m Wonwoo, Gyu’s dad.” He lets go of his son to stick out his hand. It takes a beat before Mingyu realizes he has to shake his hand—touch Wonwoo again—and offers a small, forced smile. “I hope he wasn’t much trouble.”

“No, n-no, he wasn’t. H-he’s good at painting.” He stutters and he internally berates himself for sounding like an idiot.

“He gets it from his mom.” And to confirm Mingyu’s suspicions, Wonwoo looks back at the car, where Jangmi was still mortified at the scene unfolding in front of her. If that didn’t hurt him, the smile on Wonwoo’s face as he turns back from Jangmi did.

Unable to form any words at the sudden burst of mixed emotions stirring inside his chest, he stiffly nods.

“I’m sorry, but…” Wonwoo’s brows crease and his head just slightly tilts.

No, no, don’t say it.

“Do I know you?”

Mingyu shakes his head in denial, hoping it can stop the prickling sensation behind his eyes. His throat was burning but he had managed to answer in a broken voice, “No. You don’t.”

“Oh.” Wonwoo takes Gyu’s hand and picks up his backpack, “Well, thanks for waiting with Gyu.”

“It was nothing. I enjoyed his company. He loves,” He swallows the lump in his throat, “Both of you, very much.”

“And we love him.” Wonwoo pokes Gyu’s side and the child giggles. “Well, thank you again, Mr. Kim. We’ll go ahead now. Take care!”

“You, too…” He watches the father and son walk back into the car, their hands grasping tightly together and swinging while Gyu loudly giggles. As Wonwoo helps Gyu get inside the car, Mingyu becomes aware of Jangmi’s eyes on him. The shock having subsided, there was nothing but an apologetic frown on her face. They hold their gazes with unreadable expressions, until Jangmi looks away as Wonwoo gets in the car beside her.

Mingyu turns around and kneels down, pretending to gather the canvases he had put aside back into his arms. He hears the car start and drive away not a moment too soon. A curt, choked laugh bubbles from Mingyu’s chest.

Do I know you? He thinks; laughing at how many times he’s heard Wonwoo ask him that. Every time they had ran into each other back in college, he would always ask that damned question. Sometimes, Wonwoo doesn’t really remember. Sometimes, he does.

He laughs again when he remembers the times Wonwoo had told him that he thought how nice his name was. Every time, without a fail, Wonwoo would always mention it and like the idiot that he was, Mingyu would always get shy but amused by it.

Mingyu brings a hand to cover his eyes, his short chuckles slowly morphing into choked sobs as a few teardrops hit the ground.

He named his son after me. All the memories that came flooding back into his mind were pushed aside by this thought—this very fact—and it weighed down his chest to no extent.

Mingyu has many regrets, but none of them were greater than this.

He used to regret meeting Wonwoo and forcing himself in the latter’s life. He regretted being so lovesick with a boy who barely remembers him after getting a good night’s sleep that when the time comes, he knew getting out of it was easy. He regretted originally using Wonwoo as his muse for his thesis and when their relationship collapsed beneath their feet, he had risked graduating to get his college degree for starting his thesis from scrap.

He averts his eyes, blurred with tears, to where they had driven off.

He regrets letting their relationship dwindle down to nothing. It almost makes him laugh again because they were caught in the stupid cycle of relationships Wonwoo had once mentioned to him. A cycle of strangers, friends, and lovers; where one can turn into the other. Except they had stopped their cycle.

They weren’t friends anymore, nor were they lovers.

Mingyu’s biggest regret was letting him and Wonwoo be strangers with memories that only he can remember.

**Author's Note:**

> It would mean a lot if you guys react and share this fic with the hashtag **#SWMFic**!  
> you can tag me, too [@8scoupsofjisoo](twitter.com/8scoupsofjisoo)


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